February 15, 2005

Yay!

All of my oldest web log entires are now posted to this site, dating all the way back to November 2000.

Because back when I started doing this kind of thing I didn't use sophisticated software, I had a much harder time moving those entries over. I decided to forsake copying most links. Also, despite repeated pleas for comments on my guestbook, I do not have a guestbook here, at www.courtneysherwood.com.

It's really fun to go back and read my old entries. I think I used to be more quirky, sadly. I don't know what happened to me.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:13 AM | Comments (0)

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:10 AM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2001

On the road. Read more

On the road. Read more here.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 06:40 PM | Comments (0)

March 21, 2001

Welcome to the world of

Welcome to the world of the nu (coming soon).

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:33 PM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2001

winners

The prize committee has convened and awarded prizes to the following groups and individuals.

Congratulations. Prizes are forthcoming.

• Belle & Sebastian
  
• People who wear sweaters
  
• Lana Vu
  
• Those for whom life and drama extend beyond the boundaries of their daily interactions
  
• Younger brothers (all of them)
  
• People who try, even when failure is the best they can hope for
  
• Freelance journalists
  
• Hunter S. Thompson
  
• People who aren't afraid to quit, when quitting is the right thing to do
  
• Those who ride buses or bicycles
  
• Folks with messy hair and those who walk funny
  
• Janitors
  
• People who stay
  
• People who run away
  
• People with fear in their hearts
  
• The men who wrote and directed "Chuck and Buck"
  
• Benicio Del Toro
  
• Ohio State University
  
• Attractive men, especially those who smoke
  
• Blind people
  
• People who naturally smell fresh and clean, or who artificially smell like vanilla
  
• The unclean
  
• Everyone with leprosy
  
• Anyone who has ever worn a plaid scarf
  
• Subway newspaper readers
  
• People with extremes of high or low intelligence
  
• Intrepid voyagers and fellow travelers
  
• Those who, when moping, become floppy and throw themselves about like ragged dolls, draping

  themselves across whatever they encounter
  

• The incognito
  
• People with cats
  
• Anyone involved in the production of food, especially vegetarian food.
  
• Folks who, though normally literate, chronically spell certain words wrong over and over again
  
• The very large
  
• The very small
  
• Jokers, smokers, midnight tokers, etc.
  
• Do-gooders
  
• No-goodniks
  
• Moochers (esp. when trespassing)
  
• The jaded, in particular during their rare moments of enthusiasm
  
• The freaks, the geeks, and their friends

  These are only the grand prize winners. Space does not allow me to list secondary and tertiary prize

  recipients. There are losers, as well. Those who don't use turn signals while driving, for example. But

  we'll go into that another time.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:20 PM | Comments (0)

  March 19, 2001

  Feeling a sense of malaise,

  Feeling a sense of malaise, I typed in the obvious URL, where I read that 111,111,111 times 111,111,111

  equals 12,345,678,987,654,321. Whipping out my handy dandy calculator, I learned that malaise.com does not

  lie. Now I feel much better about life.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:14 AM | Comments (0)

  March 18, 2001

  The radio: New Ladar starts

  The radio: New Ladar starts at $499 per eye.

  Hmmm... maybe I should get one of my eyes "ladared." Then I'd still have $500, but I'd also have half of

  what it takes to get perfect vision. I could pop the left lens out of my glasses and walk around seeing the

  world perfectly. Or I could adopt Popeye's demeanor and not worry about that pesky right eye. Or I could

  pay half as much on contacts for the rest of my life, and reap vast savings on contact solution over the

  years. If only I had $499.

  Alright, enough procrastinating from the task at hand. I'm packing for the upcoming grand road trip across

  the U.S.A. I have a medium sized bag for shirts, a small suitcase for underwear, a large suitcase for

  pants, skirts and sweaters. One more suitcase should cover work clothes (presuming that I ever work again)

  and various other loose ends. Then a smallish satchel for toiletries, CDs, books and I should be set. I

  think that cars have made us much more reliant on stuff as a species. Traveling by foot, I would have to

  limit my belongings to those I can fit on my back. By train, bus or plane, I would be limited to 2

  suitcases and a carryon, or by my willingness to lug heavy things about transit centers. But in a car I can

  just pile it in and go.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:43 PM | Comments (0)

  March 15, 2001

  At the end of time,

  At the end of time, when all of the inhabitants of the universe get together to evaluate an eternity of

  accomplishments and failures, prizes will be given out. Everyone will receive a prize, reflecting their

  level of acheivement. And the person who came up with the "the human female shall shed her uterus walls

  every month" rule will get the lowest, basest and worst prize of them all. And that person will be stood on

  a stage in front of the entire universe and will be thoroughly harrassed by everyone and everything that

  ever was.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:27 AM | Comments (0)

  March 13, 2001

  The pirate downs a bottle

  The pirate downs a bottle of ibuprofin.

  "I've got a lifetime of battles yet to fight, I'll not be

  done in by ye weasely cramps," she tells herself. "Now enough bellyaching, back to the plunder.

  Arrrrrr."

  (But all the while, she continues to rub her middle bits. Poor pirate.)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)

  March 12, 2001

  (in which I am probably so disgusting as to lose my few and faithful friends)

  From the last day of first grade to the first day of college, I never picked my nose even once. That all

  changed when I met Padraig Johnston, a foul beast and a good man if ever I met either. I wonder whatever

  happened to Padraig?

  The foulest beast in my life right now is my brother, Morgan. Some people

  cherish food, dream about it, write letters to it, and then slowly eat it so as to get the utmost pleasure

  out of the dining experience. Not Morgan. Case in point: he is a cereal monster. No cereal is safe from his

  beastly ravenous ways. He rips through a box of Great Grains in no time, devours Power Puff Girls Cereal in

  one gulp, then finishes off the economy size box of Frosted Flakes for good measure, and this is just while

  he's getting warmed up. Although he is a monster, and a thorough one, he is also subtle in his ways. Morgan

  can eat a person out of house and home then be on his way, and she won't even notice until the dawn. But

  then, when the bowl and spoon and milk are all layed out on the table the gaping absence will become

  abundantly clear.

  "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Where's my cereal!" she will shout to the world.

  "Noooooooooooooooooooo!" And then the poor victim's freshly picked nose will begin to bleed.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:45 PM | Comments (0)

  March 10, 2001

  I wrote some stuff at

  I wrote some stuff at work yesterday that I think pretty much sums everything up, so I'll post it here.

  I got my mom a cheese cake instead of a chocolate cake, but the rest of it is pretty accurate.

  late

  afternoon, March 9:
  
  I just had the world's best interview. For about six weeks, I've been working on a long term research

  project about housing and homelessness in Fairfax County. And there's this one person I've been trying to

  get in touch with for a month, but I've been led through a trail of wrong numbers, incorrect departments,

  and other such confusing things. The story is due on Tuesday, and I was starting to panic, when yesterday I

  got the correct phone number. I called him three times today, but he wasn't there. Finally, he called back.

  We spoke for more than an hour. He apologized for being difficult to reach. He applauded my persistence. He

  gave me all the information I needed and more, then thanked me for working on this article on a subject

  whihc doesn't get enough media coverage. And we both agreed to think over our conversation and talk again

  on Monday. And he said he'd have even more information for me then.

  It's funny how spending weeks

  researching something and then writing about it has become something I love, considering that less than I

  year ago it was the bane of my existance.

  early afternoon, March 9:
  The current state of my

  life:

  It is Friday afternoon.

  After today, I will go to work Monday and Tuesday, and then my job

  will be completely over.

  Thirty years after flunking out of college, my mom received an acceptance

  letter in the mail from George Mason University, although she doesn't know it yet. I peeked into the

  envelope, then re-sealed it. I'm going to buy her a gourmet chocolate cake to celebrate, even though she's

  trying to lose weight.

  I wonder what she'll major in.

  My friend Susan, who is a fifth year

  undergraduate, is in town for her spring break. I may get to see her this weekend. My friend Justina, who

  is in medical school, was here briefly this afternoon on her way to Florida, but I didn't get to see

  her.

  I may visit F. Scott Fitzgerald's grave on Saturday with a co-worker. I may see a movie in

  Georgetown tonight. I may sleep all weekend. I will definitely take a shower, though.

  In just over a

  week, I will be driving west with Laura, unemployed and living off my dwindling savings.

  I wish that

  I could pick either apathy or ambition and stick with it, because the two states wash over me in waves, and

  decisions I make in one state tend to seem ill-formed when I'm in the other.

  I can't leave work for

  another three hours, yet I have absolutely nothing to do.

  I wrote a really arrogant cover letter to

  one of the jobs I'm applying to in Oregon, just for fun. I called myself brilliant and told them they'd be

  doing themselves a favor to hire someone with my potential, since I'm definitely going places. I haven't

  mailed it yet, but I think I will.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:58 PM | Comments (0)

  March 09, 2001

  The mad crazy mixing of

  The mad crazy mixing of sundry tunes has begun. I'm still taking suggestions. If you've got thoughts on

  vital road trip music, email me, or post to my guestbook. So far the advice I've received has been great.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

  March 06, 2001

  my worry list

  Things I am worried about:
  • What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
  • What songs should I compile for my road trip mix tape?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:40 AM | Comments (0)

  March 05, 2001

  The school shooting near San

  The school shooting near San Diego has me really shaken up. After Columbine, this California school

  system reacted by training 20,000 students how to deal with this sort of crisis, by putting the principal

  through SWAT training, by instructing the teachers on how to respond to shootings in the school, and by

  having local police come up with contingencies in case of such an event. The result: When a student decides

  to shoot up his school, they respond quickly and efficiently and have counciling and help available for the

  victims and their families.

  How fucked up is that? Who cares how quick and effiecient and

  media-friendly your response is, when two people are dead and there's nothing that was done to avoid it?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:36 PM | Comments (0)

  Do we all want to

  Do we all want to understand ourselves and one another, the mass of us, as people? Or is it just me? I

  want to understand our collective defining characteristics and driving motivations, so I can better figure

  out what makes people work.

  For a long time, while I was unhappy, I considered hypocracy to be a

  defining characteristic, and fear to be a driving motivation. But I have come to realize that contradiction

  can be a beautiful thing, and that complexity does not always equal hypocracy. I have learned that fear was

  my own problem. In my life, fear has largely been replaced by uncertainty, which I suspect is a bit more

  universal. And I'm not sure if I even believe in motivation anymore, at least not for everyone.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)

  March 04, 2001

  Happy Birthday Morgan!

  My life has been whirling and swirling about for the past several days, even though nothing of note has

  happened, really. I turned 23 a week ago, which was less traumatic than I had feared and not really such a

  big deal at all. I spent the Nordstrom's gift certificate my grandma gave me, got corduroys and a green

  striped shirt -- very eighties. I made dehydrated butternut squash, which turned out really well, though

  completely different than I expected. I saw Jefferson Starship in concert, and everyone there was really

  old and quiet for the whole show. While walking down the street in Georgetown, I randomly came across

  Susan, who is not in Texas at all, it seems. I got a camera and a ticket to Burningman. I failed to see

  concerts by Old 97s and Weezer, even though they are two of my three favorite bands. I used up all but my

  last seven days of work. I gave notice at the library. I wore mismatched socks to a movie. The list goes on

  and on. I don't know where it will all end. Hopefully I won't know for quite some time.

  Also, Laura

  altered our schedule a little bit, but it only affects Ohio, not any actual people.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:49 AM | Comments (0)

  March 01, 2001

  Oh, and rabbit rabbit

  Oh, and rabbit rabbit

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)

  You are required by law

  You are required by law to read

  href="http://www.grinnell.edu/sandb/archives/volume117/021601/news/0ug.html">this story from my college

  newspaper. It ran in the news section. Oh my god.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)

  Sometimes food is so good

  Sometimes food is so good I cannot contain myself.I eat until I want to die. Tonight, I fell in love

  with vegetables all over again.
  

  
  Tomorrow, maybe it will be squash, or maybe oatmeal. I have to consult my cookbooks to be sure.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)

  February 28, 2001

  Last night I interviewed a

  Last night I interviewed a local rock band, Rotoglow, for an article that may or may not run. The band

  members were so good looking I had to make an excuse to leave early, because they made me nervous.

  I

  didn't realize until I started interviewing them that last night was Mardi Gras. "Why the beads?" I asked.

  Turned out it was Tuesday, last night. They though my surprise was funny. They thought my fast-writing

  skills were amazing. Everybody does.

  Quote of the evening: "Music is a drug you cannot shake," said

  by Andrew Hellier, of Rotoglow. The band has dreams of making it big.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)

  February 25, 2001

  looking forward

  The plan, in as much as you can call it that and subject to change at any moment:
  
  
  
  March 17 - Last morning volunteering at the library. Spend the rest of the day getting stuff into Laura's

  car, then spend the night at Laura's house in Leesburg.
  
  March 18 - Drive from Leesburg to Columbus, Ohio (395.4 miles). Spend the night in Ohio.
  
  March 19 - Laura interviews at Ohio State, does all kinds of cool things, while I find other means to

  entertain myself.
  
  March 20 - Drive from Columbus to St. Louis, MO (420.3 miles).
  
  March 20 - maybe midday March 24(?) - Hang out at Washington Universtiy, spending time with Sean and

  Laura's cousin Lauren (Loren?).
  
  March 24 - Drive from St. Louis to Kansas City, KS (257.1 miles).
  
  March 24 - March 27 or 28 - Hang out with Rian in Kansas City.
  
  March 27 or 28 - Drive from Kansas City to Twin Cities, MN (433.1 miles)
  
  March 27 or 28 - Early April - Hang out in the Twin Cities area with Cathy, Chris, Emily, Patrick, Steph &

  Laura's friend Joe (who I went to high school with, incidentally). Possibly also Bryan, as I understand he

  is in the area too now. Maybe help Cathy move into her new apartment?
  
  Early April - unknown - Drive to points west, hopefully hitting sites of interest and national parks along

  the way. These could possibly include the Badlands in South Dakota; Rocky Mountain National Park in

  Colorado; Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands and Gile Cliff Dwellings, New Mexico; Petrified Forest and Grand

  Canyon, Arizona; Las Vegas, Nevada; and numerous other locales. You may suggest any places we really

  oughtn't miss.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)

  February 23, 2001

  In the interests of quality,

  In the interests of quality, the preceding entry was deleted. If you really care about the inane details,

  you can view the source code. But if you don't know how to do that, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Sorry.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:42 PM | Comments (0)

  February 21, 2001

  Double sided tape is 3M's

  Double sided tape is 3M's gift to man. God's gift to man, even, if you're into that type of thing. I dare

  anyone to prove me wrong.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:08 PM | Comments (0)

  February 20, 2001

  One of the fellows I'm

  One of the fellows I'm sleeping with occasionally pees blood and the other has an uncontrollable itch.

  And despite my best efforts and their daytime friendship, I can't get them both to sleep with me at the

  same time.

  This despite the fact that Amoeba sleeps on my feet and Black Cat sleeps on a pillow next

  to my head. And no, the vets still don't know what's wrong with either of them. Oh well. It looks like it's

  gonna be Black Cat and me tonight. But you never know. Sometimes I fall asleep with one and wake up with

  the other.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:52 PM | Comments (0)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)

  February 19, 2001

  in which vaguaries are clarified

  I don't have time to regret the past. I regret the things that haven't happened yet. --Some French movie on cable

  I've been dwelling on mortality lately.

  On Friday, I interviewed a

  70-year-old man who is being treated for prostate cancer. We talked for four hours, and he told me some of

  the amazing stories that populate his life. Despite his long history, his grey hair, and his walker, he

  seemed very young. 70 is far too young to have to worry about death.

  I spend most of my days looking

  to the future and wanting to be there. But the future is already too short for all of my dreams, and every

  day more of them slip away unrealized.

  This is why I have resigned from my job, effective March 13. I

  love what I do and the people I'm doing it with, but there's a lot of moving and shaking that I have to do

  before I'm ready to build a career. On March 15, Laura and I are taking off. In early April, we'll arrive

  in Portland, Oregon.

  Beyond our road trip, I have no idea what my future holds.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:02 AM | Comments (0)

  Dear Rubber Ducky, You're the

  Dear Rubber Ducky,
  
  You're the one. You make bath time lots of fun.
  
  Love,
  
  --Courtney

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:26 AM | Comments (0)

  February 18, 2001

  How can people justify their

  How can people justify their inane little day to day lives as "making a difference" when there are people

  like this in the world?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:47 PM | Comments (0)

  February 15, 2001

  Lesson learned this week: If,

  Lesson learned this week: If, on a whim, you sign up on an online personals service just before

  Valentines Day, people will respond. Approximately 60 people, so far, it would seem. Mostly men in their

  40s who are looking to cheat on their wives, and guys who think they're gay but would like to do it with a

  women "just the once." I deleted all the really foul ones, but let me just leave here the highlights of two

  emails:

  Hi crouton
  
  Do you like to be a friend of Iranian well educated tall good lover man? yes? so why don't you write me we

  can get toknow each other better.
  
  so long
  
  

  
  and
  

  
  I have a interesting fact for you. A study was done with a group of men and women. They showed the two

  groups a variety of visual stimuli. With the group of men they found that pictures of skantilly clad women

  enduced a certain response (dilated pupils, endorphin levels increased). With the group of women however,

  pictures of skantilly clad men did not have the same effect. But pictures of new born babies and enfants

  did. I'll let you draw your own conclusion if you would like to exchage ideas with me feel free.
  

  
  I also got one from someone who said he was an herbalist and a botanical chemist and a freelancer of an

  unusual type and he really liked the greatful dead. To him I couldn't help but write: "Am I insane &

  reading things that aren't even there, or are you some sort of weed enthusiast?"
  

  
  I feel as though I'm the most desireable person in internetland, all of a sudden. Only, the desirers leave

  something to be desired.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)

  When a baby bird is

  When a baby bird is born, the first thing it sees becomes imprinted on its consciousness. Usually this

  is the bird's mother, from whom it learns to fly and find food and fend for itself. Sometimes birds imprint

  people or other living things. But in anycase, the connection is made, the synapses fuse, and once a baby

  bird is imprinted, there's no going back.
  

  
  I suspect the same thing can happen with people. If circumstances collude with one another, if the weather

  and the company and the mental state are right, I think that even adults can imprint new things onto their

  lives and minds. And perhaps when these new imprints weld themselves into the fibres of the mind, they set

  the stage for all future experience, creating a set of themes and ideas through which all of life is now

  filtered.
  

  
  Oh maybe there's just a timebomb in my mind. I hear it ticking but I don't know why.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:50 PM | Comments (0)

  I started to write a

  I started to write a song about Lana, to the tune of the driedel song, but I couldn't get through the first

  verse even. This is how it starts: "Lana, Lana, Lana. I made you out of clay. Lana, Lana, Lana ..." I don't

  know what to put next. Maybe "I love you anyway"? Hmmmm. Let me know if you have any suggestions (via

  guestbook or email.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:04 AM | Comments (0)

  February 14, 2001

  hassefrassel

  "Hassefrassel" is the sound that Yosemite Sam makes in Looney Toon cartoons when thoroughly frustrated.

  It's approximately the sound that I made today when I couldn't connect to my friggin' server. So many

  brilliant post ideas down the drain. One post about the divergent paths of the lives of friends and loved

  ones. Another about adrenalin and frustration at work. Something about how I've started writing again, sort

  of. And links to a peculiar syncronicity (Exhibits A and B). Oh well. Now nobody will know what went on in

  my head these past 24-hours.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:16 AM | Comments (0)

  February 13, 2001

  I signed away half of

  I signed away half of my money yesterday, what with finally getting rid of the last of my credit card debt, over-paying on college loans, joining AAA, and sending Grinnell money for I-don't even-know-what. I'm sure Ms. X will moan and groan when she sees this, since she's hoping to live off of my vast wealth (ahem, sarcasm) over the next several months. But it's nice to be able to realize that signing away my money is not the same as signing away my life. My initial thought was "Hey, at least I'm not in debt." But of course I am in debt, and I will continue to be in debt for the next 10 years according to my college loan financing. But who really cares? Money is such a strange, abstract and arbitrary concept.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:21 PM | Comments (0)

  February 12, 2001

  I gave notice at work

  I gave notice at work today. It's the first time I've ever really had to quit a job. Every other job I've

  had, I was hired with the understanding that my employment was temporary, that it would terminate when I

  went back to school or when I graduated. But here, I could have stayed on indefinitely, and instead I'm

  leaving in mid-March, after six and a half months. Resigning was considerably less awful than I had feared.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:11 PM | Comments (0)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:15 PM | Comments (0)

  February 11, 2001

  I just searched for my

  I just searched for my name on Google, and found that "Courtney Sherwood" is one of this girl's nicknames

  or characters. How upsetting. I also found this skit that I had to participate in for a class. I don't

  really remember performing it, but I remember that someone in my group brought a 24 pack of beer and passed

  it out to everyone, including the professor, afterwards. It was the last day of classes.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:12 AM | Comments (0)

  February 09, 2001

  Okay, only 2 hours of

  Okay, only 2 hours of onion rings. But Godiva was waiting when I got back.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:45 PM | Comments (0)

  Today, I love my job

  Today, I love my job for reasons even Ms. X could appreciate. And they go beyond the fact that my entire

  office is going to Vienna to spend three hours eating onion rings this afternoon.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:15 PM | Comments (0)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)

  February 08, 2001

  someday you'll understand

  First thing I remember was askin' papa, "Why?",
  
  For there were many things I didn't know.
  
  And Daddy always smiled; took me by the hand,
  
  Sayin', "Someday you'll understand."
  
  
  
  I'm here to tell you now each and ev'ry mother's son
  
  You better learn it fast; you better learn it young,
  
  'Cause, "Someday" Never Comes.
  
  
  
  Creedence Clearwater Revival

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:10 PM | Comments (0)

  February 06, 2001

  I've never really watched Politically

  I've never really watched Politically Correct much, but after hearing about the guests they're having

  tonight I'm sorely tempted.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:08 PM | Comments (0)

  February 05, 2001

  I was just suring the

  I was just suring the Fairfax County government webpage when I came across the Human Rights Commission's

  page about discrimination. I usually associate the initials HRC with protecting people of various sexual

  orientations, but that does not fall under commission's mandate at all. What I found really odd, however,

  was this bit:

  
  

  
  Employers having four or more employees, employment agencies and labor organizations may not discriminate

  on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, national origin, marital status, age or disability.

  
  

  
  In other words, as long as you employ fewer than four people, you can be as racist, sexist, etc. as you

  like when you make your hiring and pay decisions, and you're not breaking any laws. Who knew?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:24 AM | Comments (0)

  I started a discussion on

  I started a discussion on endracism.org. So if you want to see what other people think of it, check out

  this metafilter thread>. I'm "croutonsupafreak"

  if you want to follow my comments.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:00 AM | Comments (0)

  I saw this site, endracism.org,

  I saw this site, endracism.org, advertised at a movie theatre recently, so I thought I'd check it out. I

  don't really recommend going there, because it is a stupid and ugly site, but I think I'm going to rant

  about it for a little while.

  
  

  
  My first problem with the site is the interface. It is ugly and difficult to navigate, so people who aren't

  fully comfortable with the internet will have a hard time using it. Also, it requires you to have the most

  sophisticated computer software to view it, which means it's excluding at least 75 percent of its potential

  audience.

  
  

  And then comes the message. I almost feel guilty for disliking the message, since it's one I ought to

  like: "racism is evil." Yes, yes it is. But how do they define racism? It's not only skin-based

  discrimination, but also ageism, sexism, ableism, classism, "genism" and "specisism." I kid you not.

  
  

  
  It seems to me that by putting all of these -isms under one blanket term, they're diluting their message. A

  lot of people can identify with arguments against racism, and might even be swayed by them, but what about

  this quote:

  
  "The ultimate form of racism is the belief that the human race is superior to other species with whom we

  may not be able to mate -- either animals or Vulcans. The more scientists learn about apes, for example,

  the more closely related to them we appear to be."

  
  

  
  How stupid can you get? I happen to sort of agree with the message, but if you call everyone who thinks

  they're better than an earthworm a racist, how are you going to accomplish anything?

  
  

  
  Also, by lumping "geneism" and "specisim" in with skin color based discrimination, you're undermining the

  argument that race is socially constructed. There is no such thing as black or white people, except in as

  much as they are created by society, but there is such a thing as biologically-based genetic differences.

  Argh!!

  
  

  
  I could go on and on about this stupid self-defeating page, but I really need to go to sleep. I just get so

  frustrated when fellow liberals shoot themselves in the foot like this. Okay, enough. Goodnight.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:18 AM | Comments (0)

  February 03, 2001

  Feb. 3 Burn, baby, burn.

  Feb. 3
  Burn, baby, burn. Only, don't burn babies.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 06:38 PM | Comments (0)

  "People are stupid. All of

  "People are stupid. All of them," Morgan rather astutely informed me just now. I think he's right. I

  think that's what keeps me so constantly amused. It's fun to laugh at stupid people, and now there are more

  of them than ever -- 6 billion by current estimates. By 2050 there should be 10 billion. Man, the world

  just gets funnier and funnier all the time.

  
  

  
  Lest you think I'm exempt from Stupid Person Status, let me briefly relate an experience I had earlier

  today. I was volunteering at the library, and this unbelievably good-looking fellow asked me if he could

  get on the internet for half an hour. That's part of my job there, signing out the internet kiosks. So, an

  intelligent person would have done one of two things in this situation. Either she would have ignored his

  astounding good looks and assigned him a computer, or she would have struck up a conversation in hopes of

  getting to know him better. I just decided to surrender control of all my motor functions and shut down my

  frontal lobe. I stared at him for about 2 seconds, dropped my pencil, made a strange gutteral noise as I

  grasped for words. Then, stringently avoiding eye contact by staring at a piece of paper I wrote down a

  computer number for him and flailed about in the direction of the computers. I can't be sure, but I think I

  also blushed aggressively.

  
  

  
  In other words, I transformed myself into a bumbling oaf. This does not bode well for my romantic prospects

  in the immediate future.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:52 PM | Comments (0)

  February 01, 2001

  Two things people have been

  Two things people have been searching for when they happened upon my site: "why hygene is so important"

  on Google, and "tapeworm consumption" on Dogpile. I couldn't find myself when I tried the search on Google.

  But sure enough, page two of Dogpile search results revealted my very own web page.
  

  
  Oh, and speaking of tapework. I asked Jeeves, and the tapeworm symptoms list he showed me indicates that I

  probably don't have worms. Itching is a symptom, and my back used to itch at night about 5 years ago, and

  my feet itched a lot about 2 years ago. But it hardly seems related. Beyond that, I don't really have any

  of the symptoms. It seems more likely, in fact, that I'm a hypochondriac, although I don't have all the

  symptoms for that, either. Hmmm...
  

  
  In case you're just coming in on this topic, tapeworm has long been one of my greatest fears. I've had

  nightmares about it. In college, when too little sleep and too much caffeine wreaked havoc upon my

  digestive system, I even convinced myself that I had it for a while, although I also convinced myself that

  it was too horrible an ailment to mention and that I'd be better dying of it than going to a doctor for

  help. It's funny what a sleep deprived mind will think. Oh well.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:49 PM | Comments (0)

  Well, I tried to be

  Well, I tried to be serious for a bit there. I don't think this weblog can take prolonged seriousness.

  This is more a place for mildly humorous flippant commentary about my days, wherin I aim to amuse my

  friends and about 6 other people who I haven't identified but who also read the page for some reason.

  Anyhow, I don't really know how to be introspective when I talk about myself. To write that last entry, I

  had to search online to find someone else's personal weblog and then copy their writing style.

  
  

  
  Oh well, happy February folks. I'll be moving the January stuff to the archives soon.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:34 PM | Comments (0)

  rabbit, rabbit

  This week at work, I sat down with two of my supervisors they told me that I was doing a good job and asked

  me how I'd like to continue to grow in my job, and I'm still walking on air about it. For a while there I

  didn't know why I was so happy. I've been given a pat on the back for performance before, but it's never

  affected me like this before. But just now it hit me. For the first time in nearly 23 years I've been

  encouraged to direct my own growth. In the past, when I've done well, any accomplishments have come with

  the assumption that I should want to stay just where I am. When I've done badly, any reprimand has come

  with specific instructions on how to get where I'm supposed to be. Like any person I've grown and matured,

  of course, but it's been a semi-consious process guided by my unarticulated desires and the urging of

  teachers and parents, mingled with happenstance. Any time I have had a goal, I've been pretty much on my

  own figuring out how to acheive it. But tomorrow afternoon, Ramona and I are going to sit down. I'm going

  to talk to her about goals I have and thoughts I have about acheiving them, and she's going to give me

  advice. I'll be in charge of implementing a plan and directing my growth, but she'll be there to make

  suggestions and to help along the way. It's such an amazing prospect, I don't know whether to laugh or to

  cry. I feel giddy.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:42 AM | Comments (0)

  D'oh. Hugh's blog says "rabbit,

  D'oh. Hugh's blog says "rabbit, rabbit" too. And I think he did it first. Oh well.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)

  January 31, 2001

  bad metaphors, angst and this morning

  I've always sort of seen 27 as the age to reach for.

  It's the age all the rock stars die at -- Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix -- the peak of youth,

  practically. I know it's not really all down hill from there, but maybe it's all slightly more responsibly

  climbed hills with better tethered tents.

  
  

  
  19, by contrast, is the beginning of worthwhile youth. 19 is the only not-significant birthday in a series

  of significant birthdays, and somehow that makes it significant in its own right.

  
  

  
  So there's 19, the starting point of the young-and-happening years. And there's 27, the end point -- if you

  live past it, you're not a rock star anymore. And here, in a little less than a month, I'll be turning 23.

  I'll be reaching the halfway point.

  
  

  
  And to put it obliquely, there were a number of signposts I was hoping to have passed by now, and I don't

  know how far down the road they are or if I'm even on the right road at all. I don't know where I am or

  where I'm going or where I want to be, and in some ways that's okay, because really I'm still quite

  young.

  
  

  
  Even though I'm happy in some ways to be adrift, this mile marker, this birthday, is something I really

  don't want to deal with right now. I'd just like to put off turning another day older, another year older,

  for a few more years, until I'm ready for it.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:40 PM | Comments (0)

  Economy Slows to Weakest Growth

  Economy Slows to Weakest Growth in Five Years. Gee, it's a good thing nobody I know is going to be looking

  for work in the next coupla months. Well, except for possibly Susan, Sara J., Hudson, Jamal, Rian, Ross and

  85% of everyone else I know. D'oh.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:17 AM | Comments (0)

  January 30, 2001

  Some people have an unhealthy

  Some people have an unhealthy obsession with getting in the newspaper. They are maybe getting evicted, or

  they wrote a book, or their child is sick, or they feel they were charged too much for an oil change. And

  the only way they can feel like their various struggles can be validated is if I write an article about it.

  "It's not about me," many of them will say. "It's about the vast numbers of people I represent." And maybe

  they're right. And soemtimes I write about their various pet complaints. But honestly, in the end I just

  don't care.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:59 PM | Comments (0)

  If you see any procrastinators

  If you see any procrastinators lying about, you should tell them to do the following things today when they

  get off work:

• Pick up Chance at the airport.
  
• Make final payment on credit card.
  
• Ask for new ATM card to replace missing one.
  
• Practice driving stick shift.
  
• Get car inspected.
  
• Renew car registration online.
  
• Send (ahem) late check for college loans.
  
• Write inquiry letters to various folks in greater Portland, Ore. and in Vancouver, Washington.
  
• Talk to Laura about making some alterations to the St. Patrick's Day plans.
  
• Email Sara J. to say hello.
  
• Write a Christmas/New Years/Happy February letter to extended friend group.
  
• Put all tax payment forms in one location.
  
• Go for a walk, relax, and have a nice evening.
  
• Go to bed.

  Not necessarily in that order, of course.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:48 PM | Comments (0)

  January 29, 2001

  I just realized I never

  I just realized I never linked to

  href="http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=1329916&BRD=1900&PAG=461&dept_id=171445&rfi=8">this

  article as promised. Lead sentence, in case you need reminding: "A meet-and-greet session between porn

  stars and their fans ended in 12 arrests earlier this month at Fast Eddie's, the Fairfax City pool hall and

  bar." Aw yeaahhhh.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)

  I had a sore throat

  I had a sore throat this morning so bad my neck swelled up to twice its original size. Now my neck is back

  to normal, but my knee is sore from banding it twice against filing cabinets that are in different places

  than they used to be. By neck hurts. My hair's a mess. I got dirt on my skirt and it won't come out. Still,

  my performance review was really good today. And as conflicted as that makes me feel about the future, I

  feel pretty damned good about right now.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:23 PM | Comments (0)

  Expression I hate: "policy wonk."

  Expression I hate: "policy wonk." Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:15 PM | Comments (0)

  January 28, 2001

  This was one of those

  This was one of those uneventful but infinitely pleasant days. I slept 14 hours. I finished a book. I read

  the paper. I went for a walk. I ate out. I visited Laura. I did not watch television. And now I'm going to

  go upstairs and listen to good music and read a good book and eventually fall asleep.
  
  
  
  Jealous?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:37 PM | Comments (0)

  January 26, 2001

  ignore me, as I vaguely whine

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:40 PM | Comments (0)

  If your life is going

  If your life is going well, you have all the things you want save one, is it sane to abandon everything

  just to get that one thing? What if that one thing is half of the key to your sanity, and you'll have to

  leave the other half behind in order to leave? What if the quest for that one thing promises to be fun?

  
  

  
  Sometimes I feel overjoyed about what the (increasingly near) future holds. Sometimes terrified. Sometimes

  I despair. Arghhhh.

  
  

  
  I apologize for being so vague. I have this uneasy feeling that if I'm explicit someone from work will read

  this and reign fury down upon me.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:06 AM | Comments (0)

  January 24, 2001

  So apparently insects are animals.

  So apparently insects are animals. They are, you could say, a type of animal. Even bees. Who knew?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:35 PM | Comments (0)

  January 23, 2001

  cheeziness

  I feel like linking to one of my articles online. The problem: reading through a random selection, I see

  the web folks seem to have messed them up. Argh. Oh well, read this anyhow. (Not the sex scandal one yet,

  I'll link there once it's up too). You can get a listing of all of my Times posted articles here. Sadly,

  the list is incomplete. Oh well. And here's a place where you can tell me what you think of them.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:19 PM | Comments (0)

  Tuesdays are a complicated phenomenon

  Tuesdays are a complicated phenomenon in my life. For one thing, all of the tv shows I really enjoy are on

  at the same time -- Buffy, Angel, That 70's Show & Dark Angel all have this really bad habit of

  overlapping. And then, while the shows are rolling, I have this weekly work-related obligation to drive to

  Fairfax for the weekly city council meetings, which tend to run from 7 to 10 p.m. But as reluctant as I am

  to go to the meetings each week, I leave feeling heartened and upbeat. There's something really great about

  the Fairfax city council. It's local government really working. I always leave wishing I lived in Fairfax,

  so that I could testify at the public hearings, so that I was directly affected by the things I'm reporting

  on. It's so great to know that representative democracy is alive and well on a local level in this

  community. I hope that I continue to remain civically involved in my community, either as an observer or as

  a participant, for a long time to come.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:04 PM | Comments (0)

  January 22, 2001

  cool trucks and real life porn stars

  Twice in the past several months I have seen company trucks with really cool bumper stickers.

  I saw one that said something along the lines of "Tilers really know how to lay." And Then, on the back of

  a Falls Church Paving, Co. truck, I saw "Kick a Little Asphalt."

  
  

  
  Things like this make me love America.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:07 PM | Comments (0)

  "A meet-and-greet get together for

  "A meet-and-greet get together for porn stars and their fans ended in 12 arrests earlier this month at

  [location withheld]"

  Sorry, I'm keeping the location a secret for now on the off chance that some other newspaper reporter

  happens across this site (highly unilkely, I know). Still, probably the most exciting lead I've written in

  my 5 months here. If I remember, I'll post the link on Wednesday when the article is published.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:03 PM | Comments (0)

  January 21, 2001

  living large & spending money (aka, it pays to be obsessed)

  Yesterday I purchased 4 picture frames for cheap at Target. I put pictures with Ms. X, Lana, Sara J.,

  and Jamal into them. Arrayed on top of my book shelves, they look really nice. I have countless more

  pictures, but no more frames. So now I plan on collecting small silver picture frames.

  
  

  
  Today I purchased Resident Alien, by Spacehog. I remember listening to them on the radio in late 1995,

  lying on my bed in my grandparents' house and vowing to get the album. I've since come across it on

  numerous occasions, but always at full price. It was only $5 to bring it home from CD Warehouse today,

  though. Which goes to show, it pays to be obsessed.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)

  January 19, 2001

  I have the greatest and

  I have the greatest and most fascinating younger brothers imaginable. I don't know how four people can be

  so closely related, so similar in all the good ways, and yet so completely different.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:39 PM | Comments (0)

  I met Lana's famous friend

  I met Lana's famous friend Barry. He's very cool.

  I hope she has a good time in Vietnam, that Lana. This trip is a Very Big Deal. Direct your best wishes at

  Lana, everyone.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:37 AM | Comments (0)

  January 18, 2001

  "Worried that protesters may turn

  "Worried that protesters may turn violent [at the inauguration] like they did at last year's protests at

  the World Trade Organization" -- NBC.
  Oh, sure, it was the protesters, not the police, who turned violent. Barf. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be part

  of the media.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:09 PM | Comments (0)

  January 17, 2001

  Said Hunter S. Thompsen, in

  Said Hunter S. Thompsen, in a letter to his then-girlfriend, in the 1960s before he was established:

  
  
  
  Things on my "worry list":
  
  1) money
  
  2) money
  
  3) money
  
  after the first three they tend to level out ...
  
  4) Worry that I may not be as strong as I think I am and thereby compromise with dull reality and convince

  myself that my weakness is a sign of "maturity
  
  5) Worry that I may never run across anyone whom I think is "right" enough to fall in love with, or should

  I say "be happy with"
  
  6) Worry that I live in a land of semi-educated flagellants ... who have created and insist on maintaining

  a "free, equal, standardized, complacent and decaying" society which frustrates and denies the idea that I

  should live as I want to live and maintain my self-respect at the same time
  
  7) The rest of my worries are small and come and go from day to day.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:54 PM | Comments (0)

  January 15, 2001

  Grrr ... I went through

  Grrr ... I went through all the trouble of sketching out how I wanted to spiffy up this page, then I left

  the notes at work.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:02 PM | Comments (0)

  When I was younger --

  When I was younger -- say six or seven years old -- we had this couch that always seemed to be directly

  between where I was and where I wanted to be. As a result, I was constantly hurling myself over it,

  twisting muscles here and there as I ran. I think I spent the better part of two years with a sprained neck

  muscle. That is how I feel today.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)

  My neck and legs and

  My neck and legs and head and everything is sore. I did a cartwheel down a mountain at 60 miles per hour

  yesterday, bouncing off my head as I flailed down the mountain. Somehow I managed to hold onto my ski. That

  was the only time I fell, and I wasn't seriously injured. But the bruises and aching muscles make an

  interesting complement to my work environment today. I slept 10 hours, and all I really want is to go back

  to bed. Yawn.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:40 AM | Comments (0)

  January 11, 2001

  Gloves & shoes: if you

  Gloves & shoes: if you counted up all of the gloves and shoes lying on the sides of all the highways in

  America, how many dead cows would that represent?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:23 PM | Comments (0)

  January 10, 2001

  letters, mostly to food

  Dear Songs That Are Constantly in My Head,
  Thank you for keeping me sane, even though you drive me crazy. Love,
  Courtney
  p.s. - I think you occupy the part of my brain where my subconscience should be.

  Dear Cheese,
  I love you so much. Probably too much, I think. Let's spend some time apart. (Although even now, as I push

  you away, I feel unreconcilably drawn to you. You know, and so do I, that next time we meet I won't be able

  to resist).
  
  Love,
  
  Courtney
  

  
  Dear Spaghetti Sauce in a Jar,
  
  I've been thinking about you a lot lately -- you and the Homemade Sauce you usurped. I have mixed feelings

  about our relationship. On the one hand, you're convenient and abundant. On the other hand, you are so

  generic. Sometimes I miss the texture and variety of Homemade Sauce, even though he was so high

  maintenance. I guess in our digital society it's no surprise that I choose convenience over love.
  Just thought you should know,
  
  Courtney
  

  
  Dear Apples and Oranges,
  
  Sorry I never called you back. We should get together again soon. Call me some time.
  
  Courtney
  

  
  (more letters are likely in the near future)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)

  I kept a list of

  I kept a list of things to add to this site next to me at work today. It was long. Normally, I would

  just telnet in and add from work, but everytime I tried my computer crashed. Something to do with the weird

  network guy who kept hovering about, I gather. But so then I tidied my desk, trashed unnecessary bits of

  paper and filed other ones, and now I have no idea where my list is. Oh well.

  
  

  
  The only really big event of my day is that I'm finally about to go to bed. Yay. I had two meetings, both

  at 7p.m., to cover tonight. So I taped the one that was being live broadcast and went to the other. The

  tape ran out for the last five minutes or so, but I don't care. I only just finished watching it.

  
  

  
  Also: I didn't add the anti-friz goo to my hair today, and subsequently it was frizzy. I chose to wear my

  glasses, and later in the day when the house was cold and I was relaxing, I wore lots of sweats and

  sweaters. I tied back my hair because the friz factor was overwhelming. When I looked in the mirror, I felt

  like one of those "about to undergo transformation" women from in oh so many movies. I was the spitting

  image of frump. I guess I still am only more so now, since I've kept the sweats, glasses and frizzy

  ponytail and coated my face in Clearasil. Aw yeah.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:57 AM | Comments (0)

  January 08, 2001

  3-something-p.m. Q: Do you even

  3-something-p.m.
  
  Q: Do you even know what Pez is?
  
  A: No, but I want some.
  
  Also: "You're bringin' me down, man" (said in just the right tone of voice).
  
  
  
  11-something-a.m.
  
  The barometric pressure is rising today, whatever that means. I received three emails over the past 24

  hours, a mix of sobering and uplifting, the lot of them. Still, they all made me happy. Either at lunch or

  after work I'm going to make a concerted effort to respond.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)

  January 07, 2001

  I list things

  Ms. X is applying to grad school in Idaho. Everytime she mentions this, I declare that I would visit her

  there, and people look at me like I'm insane. But photos like this and these leave no doubt in my mind that

  I need to spend some time in the northwest. If I was here I would listen to Yo La Tengo. If I was here, I

  think I'd just cry.

  
  

  
  Someday I'll live in those mountains. Maybe in Idaho. Maybe in Washington. Maybe in Montana. It makes me

  want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. Or, when it's done, the Continental Divide Trail. Not until I've got

  the AT under my belt, though.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 08:32 PM | Comments (0)

  A la saturn.org, I am

  A la saturn.org, I am going to talk a little bit about the whole

  rockin' song of the moment thing. First off, though, I need to confess I occassionally confuse my rockin'

  songs of a moment with the rockingest songs of all time. Some of them: "Timebomb" by Old 97's; Fountains of

  Wayne ... every song on their first album, especially "Sink to the Bottom" and "Leave the Biker"; Weezer -

  "Pink Triangle"; many many songs by Jane's Addiction and by James; Martin Sexton's "Glory Bound". I'm not

  sure if Liz Phair's "Polyester Bride" is a rockin' song of the moment or a rockin' song of eternity; I

  suspect the latter.
  

  
  Some recent rockin' songs: Cowboy Mouth - "Easy"; Dixie Chicks - "Earl" and "Sin Wagon"; "Pray for the

  Girls" by Frank Black; "Signal in the Sky" by The Apples in Stereo; "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road" by

  Lucinda Williams; Aimee Mann's "Driving Sideways"; "5-1/2 Minute Hallway" by Poe. I'm also really digging

  Yo La Tengo's "And Then Nothing Turned Inside-Out," the whole album.
  

  
  I wish I could just eat music whole, devour it so that I always had it in me. Mmmmmm. Sadly, I can't. This

  makes me especially sad because my messy house has devoured some of my music instead. I got the new Meat

  Puppets album plus an Apples in Stereo album for X-mas, and I don't know where they are. Woe is me.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:32 PM | Comments (0)

  Some of the top things

  Some of the top things folks have been searching for when they happened upon my sight:

• Justina Ju
  
• Domo Arigato
  
• buffy sex barefeet
  
• mr grinch gifs
  
• "chance the gardener" AND "music"
  
• lana willis
  
• PINK GUCCI PURSE
  
• stephen hunter movie
  
• cOURTNEY SHERWOOD
  
• the meat puppets gifs
  
• weezer post card
  
• Pepper Single Butthole
  
• the great gatsby reading logs
  
• mowhawk college
  
• digital camera watch
  
• Crouton Cat
  
• Don Delilo (numerous searches for this one)
  
• roboto
  
• great catsby

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:16 PM | Comments (0)

  January 05, 2001

  Oh no! I've got to

  Oh no! I've got to get reading! If I keep reading monster big books, I'll only get half to a quarter of

  my fair share.
  

  
  Infinite Jest, Underworld, House of Leaves, Vol. I Collected Letters of Hunter S. Thompson -- these are all

  books of over 800 pages that I've read in the past two years. And over the next three months I hope to read

  more: Gravity's Rainbow (already begun), Crypotomicon, Vol. II Collected Letters of Hunter S. Thompson. The

  Tin Drum and 100 Years of Solitude are also pretty damned big. I don't think Michener novels or the Harry

  Potter books count.
  

  
  A really good short book I read recently: Shopgirl. It's less than 150 pages. It's by Stever Martin -- yes,

  the funnyman. It is soooooo good. Oh my god good, even. Yeah.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:32 AM | Comments (0)

  January 04, 2001

  I really like the Rovitos.

  I really like the Rovitos. Sean is bitter and Casey is evasive. Some time ago they chose these character

  traits and they've done well at applying the traits to their lives. I think in the long run they'll both

  lead much better adjusted lives than I would have predicted five years ago. Also, I think that they both

  have spectacular noses.

  
  

  
  In the mean time, I am far too sleep deprived for words, and Morgan has not updated his weblog for

  days.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:52 AM | Comments (0)

  January 02, 2001

  be it resolved, driving, die die die, amused

  All the offices in my building have doors that don't want to stay open, so I often see doors propped open

  by bricks or wedges. Today, the company down the hall seems to have lost its door propping brick, so

  they're using an Apple II-e instead.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)

  Dear College Loans, (a letter

  Dear College Loans, (a letter and a haiku)
  
  Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
  
  You make me want to cry. Die!
  
  Sincerely, Courtney
  
  
  
  
  So, I received a bill from the college loan people for $300 due this month, and another for $50 due this

  month. I almost died. I nearly cried. Then, it took me 45 minutes to navigate their touch tone phone system

  to find a human -- it's not until the fifth menu down that they tell me how to talk to a customer service

  person. Then I wait another 20 minutes to actually talk to this person and he tells me that yes, they

  received my last payment, but they thought I just wanted them to count that as positive money in some other

  imaginary account rather than as money to deduct from the staggering debt I accrued over my four years in

  college.
  
  
  
  His name was Bruce. He knows money. He clearly thought I was the biggest idiot on earth. He was probably

  thinking "Hah! This fool has a staggering debt load from four years of college! Despite her higher

  education, she doesn't know how to read a simple bill! She is stupid! And I, as a skilled customer service

  representative, could vanquish her with my mighty salary!" After all, skilled tele-csr folks make $12 an

  hour and up. Everything is okay, now, but I have been instructed to never send in the detachable bottom

  half of the bill in with my payment again. Instead, every month I must write a letter to the loan people

  explaining that this check is to pay off my college loan and please don't to anything else with my money,

  and then all will be well.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:39 PM | Comments (0)

  I've been trying to think

  I've been trying to think of resolutions. I've got a few now, more to come as they occur to me,

  probably.
  
  1. I resolve to continue to try to be healthy and hale by hiking, working out, eating spinach and tofu and

  other yummy things.
  
  2. I resolve to spend at least four days sleeping in the woods between now and mid-March.
  3. I resolve to apply for jobs, internships, fellowships, programs and adventures until I am accepted for

  at least one.
  
  4. I resolve to try to be nicer about the things I say to people.
  
  5. I resolve to be braver in my interactions with people.
  
  6. I resolve to stop doing whatever it is that I do that makes people think that I don't ever want to hug

  anyone (in fact, the only people I don't want to hug are strangers, but friends see me duck away from the

  looming arms of the unknown and assume I don't want to hug anyone, I think).
  
  7. I resolve to continue to be neurotic, as I think my neuroses are not overwhelmingly annoying and they

  are part of what makes me interesting.
  
  8. Still, I also resolve to deal with some of the mind games I play with myself that make me unhappy.
  
  (To clarify 7&8: It's okay to think I have strange diseases or that my hands smell like garlic or like the

  world is a strange and unfathomable place. It's not okay to think that these imaginary things (or any real

  things) would make friends abandon me or would render me an inferior human being.)
  
  9. I resolve to travel long distances in a small space with a good friend.
  
  10. I resolve to come to some sort of solution to the "standards" conundrum and to deal with it.
  
  11. I resolve to try harder to tell people how great they are. Because they really are great, most of them,

  even though they may not know it.
  
  
  
  Hmm... okay, more resolutions than I anticipated. This is the first time I've really done a New Years

  resolution list, so I think I'd better stop with what I've got. I should come up with some sort of strategy

  for implementing these goals. It's fun to come up with strategies. Even though I rarely follow them after

  the fact, when I later randomly attack the tasks at hand I feel better about it with the knowledge that a

  strategy exists out there somewhere.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:03 AM | Comments (0)

  I've just returned from my

  I've just returned from my New Years excursion to New York. I spent a total of 12 hours in the car/at rest

  stops with Laura, David, Josie ("Jo-Z") & Morgan, and 14 hours at Brett's apartment, where the party was

  held. The Brett's apartment time was nice -- he lives in a spacious apartment, which was overflowing with

  nice people, good movies and excellent food. I spent much of the time there reading a book and then

  sleeping, but I definitely had a good time. The really great part of my journey, however, was the

  travelling time. I really enjoyed being in such close proximity to Laura, Josie, Morgan & David. Despite

  the fact that at least one person was feeling somewhat ill at any given time, despite the discomfort of a

  crowded car, and despite the ever fluctuating temperature, it was really fun. Happy New Year, world.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:45 AM | Comments (0)

  December 31, 2000

  I've completely changed my plans.

  I've completely changed my plans. I'm not camping this weekend. Instead I'm going up to New York,

  leaving at dawn for a hopefully happening New Years party. I know I'll have a good time, but it's hard for

  me to deal with the possibilities left by the wayside. My dad, who I see far too rarely, is leaving the

  country yet again on Monday and I probably won't et to say goodbye; it's beautiful outside and my tent and

  sleeping bag are primed for another weekend of non-use (it's been more than a month since I've even hiked);

  my family will be visiting my aunt tomorrow, I can't tag along. I want to do all of these things, but I

  know that whatever I do I'll end up making myself miserable about what's missing. Alone at New Years I'd

  miss my friends and be sad about not saying bye to my dad. With my family, I'd miss the wilderness and my

  friends. As it is, I'll be sad about not seeing my aunt and not saying goodbye to my dad. And I'll have the

  glorious guilt of knowing Lana is sad.
  

  
  Is this what people call "issues"? This incessant worrying? I don't think so. I think issues are inherently

  annoying personality traits that stem from an unpleasant experience that one has to work through. Whereas

  my anxiety is a occassionally annoying but also perhaps interesting/quirky personality trail that's just

  based on who I am and does not stem from any life experience. Usually it's not a problem. As long as I make

  my decisions impulsively, I don't think them through enough to know about the negative consequences. But

  whenever my head gets involved I end up making my self crazy. Maybe I'll be so dopey crazy from only

  getting 4 hours of sleep & then driving for hours that I'll forget to be a stupidhead tomorrow. That would

  be good.
  

  
  p.s. - Ms. X & Morgan think I'm crazy to assert I don't have a subconscious. I think it just means I'm

  damned self-aware. Whaddayou think? My guestbook is up and running again, so let me know.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:43 AM | Comments (0)

  December 30, 2000

  The source of glory: My

  The source of glory: My cousin is giving me his car! It's a 1987 Honda stick-shift no-power-steering, no

  air-conditioning vehicle. But happy joy to me. I so very much want a car of my own.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:02 AM | Comments (0)

  December 28, 2000

  I'm feeling much better now.

  I'm feeling much better now. Taking an inexcusably long lunch break, swallowing three times the recommended

  ibuprofin, eating cookie dough and popcorn, playing computer games, and talking to Morgan seem to have

  mitigated the pain.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:33 PM | Comments (0)

  Today is the worst kind

  Today is the worst kind of day. I'm awake and alert and happy and productive, at least in theory. But my

  entire body is wracked by pain. I just want to overdose on ibuprofrin and curl up into a ball and sleep. I

  think I should just sell my ovaries and be done with this kind of thing altogether. Waaah.
  

  
  What I really want: to be bundled up in very very warm clothing outside on a 20-degree day, in the woods,

  surrounded by tree and snows, laying down in a soft snowbank. Warm except for my face, which tingles from

  the cold cold air... I'm going camping this weekend. I will spend New Years Eve alone in the middle of

  nowhere. I will sleep on the ground and cook on a fire. I will hike, write, read or lie around as I see

  fit. And if at any moment I stop enjoying myself, I'll pack it all in and head home.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)

  December 27, 2000

  It's sad to think about

  It's sad to think about the number of trees that are dying. I don't know if I've ever seen a chesnut. There

  used to be dogwoods all over the place when I was younger -- my third grade class pressed dogwood blossoms

  as an art activity. And now they're mostly dead.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:23 PM | Comments (0)

  I think I'm going into

  I think I'm going into the woods this weekend, even if it's too cold to camp out. I'd be perfectly happy to

  drive out to nowhere, hike all day, then drive back. Although camping would be better, I think. Anyone who

  wants to come with me is welcome. I have two tents.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)

  Morgan got an awesome hair

  Morgan got an awesome hair cut yesterday. I hope he posts pictures. On the other hand, he may not be

  updating his page any time soon, with the wretched schedule he's on. Get this: Wednesday: 11pm-8am,

  Borders; Thursday: 9am-5pm, EMW & 11pm-8am Borders; Friday 9am-5pm,EMW. After Friday morning, his job at

  Borders is comepletely over, so he should be able to get some sleep Friday night. Poor boy.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:10 PM | Comments (0)

  December 26, 2000

  Dilemma

  Dec. 26 - Dilemma
  I don't know what to do. I very much want to go backpacking this weekend. I haven't been camping for far

  too long, and never in weather quite this cold. So it would be a great opportunity to do something fun and

  somewhat new. I won't have another opportunity to go camping for several months, because I don't want to

  skip out on volunteering at the library in order to traipse about the mountains. On the other hand, Ms. X

  has invited me to a New Years party in New York. New Years parties are even more rare than camping trips. I

  know many of the folks who will be there, and I think they're generally great folks. But they're really Ms.

  X's friends, for the most part. And a bunch of them I don't know at all. So it could be a really great

  party, or it could be me sitting there surrounded by folks I don't know who pair off and make me lonely.
  It's much more lonely to be surrounded by happy strangers than it is to be alone in the woods. But the

  thought of missing a potentially kick-ass party is nearly unbearable. I don't know what to do.
  I'd welcome advice to my guestook, if anyone has any thoughts.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

  December 24, 2000

  It's a Christmas miracle!!! (happy happy happy)

  A metafilter link led me to this site, which features songs performed by one of the two Best Bands Ever

  (Fountains of Waye (the other is Old 97's)). And they're kick-ass holiday themed songs, including The

  Kink's "Better Things" -- which Dar Williams did an awesome cover of as well, and which just plain makes me

  happy.
  
  
  
  Fountains of Wayne less than an hour before the holiday -- It's a Christmas miracle!!!
  
  
  
  p.s. - don't expect to hear anything more from me until the day after tomorrow. I think I'm taking Dec. 25

  off from blogging.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:31 PM | Comments (0)

  Breakfast: leftover pizza and cookie

  Breakfast: leftover pizza and cookie dough. Snack: veggies and cookies. Lunch: Salad. Snack: cookie dough.

  Dinner: cookie dough.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:55 PM | Comments (0)

  Francois Truffaut was directing this

  Francois Truffaut was directing this strange surrealist film. Only he didn't tell anyone. Truffaut didn't

  want Morgan to be in the film, so he waited until Morgan left for work. Then the whole house became

  tranformed to this strange funhouse land place. I was there with ... I think Laura and Hugh and Chance,

  though Lana may have been there too for part of it, and Chance may have not been there the whole time.

  Everyone else in the family was asleep. We were wandering around, and the house had become an enormous

  maze. Finally we stumbled into this room where the floor slanted down into a nasty brown water. In the

  corner there was a rickety wooden structure -- a staircase going up, and a ladder going down. Truffaut

  himself was sitting in the corner with a hammer that he'd used to build the staircase thing. He was being a

  real jerk. Then suddenly we noticed Chance had vanished. Truffaut started laughing maniacally, The water

  started sloshing about in waves. "He's in the ceiling," Truffaut told us. We looked up. Two strange lumps

  stuck out of the ceiling in opposite corners, and it was clear that Chance was in one of them. "Help, I'm

  stuck in the ceiling," Chance's voice came muffled from above. It was clear that if we didn't get him out

  soon, it would be too late. Laura and Hugh both tried to use the ladder staircases thing to get him, but

  they just got wet and splintery going up, and it was scary so they had to climb back down. Then they tried

  standing on top of one another. Meanwhile, I was in the other corner, trying to find a way to climb up to

  the other lump where Chance might be trapped. Just as I was thinking of different climbing techniques, my

  alarm clock went off. I woke up very unhappy, convinced that I had been too late.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

  Well, I was hoping to

  Well, I was hoping to get up about two hours ago so I could go for a chilly Xmas Eve hike along the Billy

  Goat Trail. But I guess I needed more sleep than that.
  In the two hours between slapping my alarm clock into submission and actually waking up I had another

  dream. It was pretty short.
  
  
  
  In the dream, I was staying in a large, comfortable cottage positioned on a piece of land that jutted

  somewhat into a lake. It looked very much like some of the places I saw in north central Maine this summer.

  I was just waking up from a long, pleasant night's sleep in a four poster bed with soft down comforter. It

  was very early morning, the sun had only barely risen and was poking through the pine trees across the

  lake. I looked out the window at the land that went, peninsula like, into the lake and saw there a family

  of foxes. A huge male fox, somewhat smaller female fox and little bitty baby fox were all drinking the

  water. Then, male leading the way they all got into the water and swam off. Then I saw a deer, and a little

  later a very large bizarre looking bird. I think I may also have seen a wolverine slinking along the lake

  shore. Surveying the scenery, I noticed a number of large eggs. "Those must be the eggs that all of the

  animals hatched from," I thought. That was pretty much it for the dream, although after I saw the eggs and

  before I woke up, I had a moment of realization that the large bird I had seen was the now-extinct dodo

  bird.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:37 AM | Comments (0)

  December 22, 2000

  "Last night I had the strangest dream" (to quote Frank Black)

  Lana is awesome! She is a hero! She got Morgan a job!

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

  December 21, 2000

  some things I just don't get

  Things I get: Occasionally being bored at work. Taking a break to talk to your coworkers. Surfing the

  web. Updating your web site. Looking forelornly out the window at the wide blue sky. Putting off unpleasant

  phone calls. Working frantically to get a big project done. Staying late in the office if you're almost

  done. Going to night meetings. Working despite the pounding headache. Trying to get everything in early,

  but usually only just getting it in on time. Going out with co-workers after work. Volunteering for

  additional projects because you fear you may have too much free time at the office. Still having too much

  free time at the office. But sometimes being overwhelmed by a sudden deluge of work, only to get through it

  in the end.
  

  
  I don't get: Being so messy that you create a fire hazard. Coming in to work four hours late after being

  specifically told that you had to be in at a certain time. Staying at the office until midnight or

  overnight even. Skipping work despite being behind, then missing deadlines ( simply can't even deal with

  the prospect of missing deadlines). Carrying on blithely in the face of demotions and repeated chewing out

  by supervisors. Not only not volunteering to help others, but actively avoiding it except when it means you

  can avoid working on your own (way backed up) projects.
  

  
  No, I'm not bitter. But I don't understand how this co-worker of mine survives. She's nice enough, but I

  don't know why she's still here. She seems competent enough, but maybe she belongs in a different field.

  One where deadlines and personal responsibility are less vital. One where showing up for work is not

  considered quite so important. I guess we're understaffed. But argh.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:01 PM | Comments (0)

  December 20, 2000

  fear & on being weird

  I just watched the last 30 minutes of "The Last Days of Disco." It reminded me of "Kicking & Screaming"

  in that it was about a bunch of 20 somethings talking a lot. I think I'd like it if I saw the whole film.

  The thing that bothered me, at least about the finale, was that the men in the movie were incredibly

  introspective, talkative, intelligent -- asshole & lunatics on occasion, but also loquacious. The women, on

  the other hand, talked mostly about relationships with one another, and didn't seem to participate in

  meaningful conversations at all in the presence of their men. Pathetic.
  

  
  One of the men in the movie plays this manic depressive but basically nice guy who we're supposed to like.

  The woman who likes him back has to come to terms with the fact that he's weird, and she does this mostly

  by dully listening to him as he rambles these intelligent but random streams of thought that are supposed

  to give us insight into his character. He is weird and she is normal, we learn in a dialogue at the end of

  the film.

  
  

  
  I've been thinking about myself & weirdness. I think my co-workers think I'm pretty normal -- I dress

  appropriately, make polite conversation, share non-shocking anecdotes about my life, complete the tasks

  assigned to me. Rian thinks I'm a bit odd, maybe a bit off in the head, I think. But she knows lots of

  people who are weird -- probably most of the folks she knows are at least a little wacky. Still, she's able

  to tell me I'm "completely weird" now & then, and I take comfort in the fact that she thinks I'm complete.

  I have other friends who, whenever I say something that may indicate I'm a little atypical about some

  things immediately respond with stories about how not only are they weirder than me about that, but they're

  also weirder than me about this other thing. And others who say "stop pretending like you're neurotic,

  you're not all that weird." And others who seem to shudder internally and pretend like they haven't heard

  me talking, or like whatever I've been saying is better not processed. I prefer Rian's approach. I also

  like the approach of friends who listen to me and talk about what I say, even if they don't think it's

  weird or freaky. You can think I'm fairly non-messed up without trying to make me seem perfectly normal. I

  don't think I need to be singled out. I don't want people to stop and stare and say "ooh, that Courtney,

  she sure is a wacko." I don't think I'm mentally ill, or that I'm heaps weirder than anyone else on the

  face of the earth. But I also don't think it's too much to ask for my friends to recognize that I'm a

  unique person. And that's what I'm asking for when I share anecdotes that may look like pathetic attempts

  to paint a portrait of some sought after mental state.
  

  
  And yes, this does tie into "The Last Days of Disco." The manic depressive guy from the movie: he sought

  treatment and was basically a sane fellow not a loonie at least by the time I tuned in. But still, he

  babbles on and tells stories to the girl he likes that might make him seem a little weird. And I think he's

  doing the same thing I do. It's a "look, this is a big weird world and really people are all pretty much

  the same as one another, we all have many of the same hopes and fears, but let me show you how I'm a little

  different and how I think and how I feel about the world in general" kind of thing, albeit not so well

  articulated. And the thing I realized is how threatening that getting-to-know-you gambit can be to another

  person who's doing the same thing. I tend to like weird guys, it's true, but if someone approached me with

  the same "look at me I'm neurotic" thing, I'd see him as competition not a good person to get to know.
  

  
  Not that there's a moral to this story. I'm not sure exactly where I'm leading. Just a few thoughts to tide

  me through the night is all. Anyhow, the bit about me is just a theory. I'll have to think on it somemore

  before I'm sure.
  

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:47 PM | Comments (0)

  I just spent the last

  I just spent the last hour and a half talking to my company's investment folks about retirement planning.

  It's all too bewildering. I dont' want to retire. I want to work until the day I die. No, not really. But

  it's one thing to hear how much good can come out of investing $2000 a year for 10 years starting when

  you're in your 20s. It's another thing to realize that that's 10 percent of your annual income -- and more

  than 20 percent of the money I'll be earning this year. Sure, waiting until you're in youre 30s to invest

  $2000 a year may be foolish. But what about if I just invest 10 percent of my then-income. It will probably

  be higher, so I'll be putting aside much more money than I ever could now, anyhow. Argh.
  If anyone is looking to get me something for Christmas, I'll take a retirement package. And what a gift --

  I won't even be eligible to use it for another 33 years, and I may not be able to afford to use it for

  another decade after that.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:21 PM | Comments (0)

  December 19, 2000

  For the third consecutive day,

  For the third consecutive day, I have eaten far too much of the free holiday candy that's lying about every

  where I go. Ohhhh, my poor, full, achy belly. Waahhhh. (But oh the joy of the yummy foods -- yesterday it

  was quiche, almond pastries, chocolate dipped fruit; today: home-made fudge, cholocate pretzels and candy

  canes.)

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:42 PM | Comments (0)

  I'm thinking of the Norweigian

  I'm thinking of the Norweigian word for snow. I think it's spelled "sne." In Norway -- Northern Norway, at

  least, Tromso and environs -- snow lasts for something like half the year. And every kid has skis. The

  schools go on skiing field trips. And then there's this snow, which will be gone by the end of the day

  tomorrow. Maybe I should move to Maine.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:31 PM | Comments (0)

  December 18, 2000

  Today I spent 7 hours

  Today I spent 7 hours doing laundry and an hour and a half cleaning. I still have more cleaning to do,

  but not until I get another bookshelf and some sort of rubbermaid like storage device. Still, a sense of

  accomplishment. Now let's hope I don't forget to pay VITAL bills tomorrow.

  
  

  
  While cleaning, I found a bunch of scraps of paper with attempts at writing on them. I will partially

  transcribe a few here. Then you can learn how both formal and informal approaches to narrative can be

  crappy. Oh well.

• The thing about opening a business, the thing about the very first day in a new store, is that you

  can never know what to expect.

• It's an overwhelming burden, being in your 20s, knowing that these are supposed to be the best

  years of your life. And so she determined that she would waste them.

• If she talked to him, would he think she was crazy? Would he be lulled into thinking he was

  talking to a normal girl -- a bit twitchy, maybe, but all in all normal?

• Despite the hard, cold reality, I hated Europe. The rotting landscapes of a jaundiced population

  were locked in white marle and grey stone. Despite centuries of self-righteousness and the biggest ego in

  the world, all I saw when I surveyed the continent was shrouds and tombstones.

• My break from this placid reality, less stifling than the feminists would have believed, came in

  1975, twelve years after I married Leonard. Susan, who was also 30, had once been a sweetheard of my

  husband's Although he later chose me, she and I remained friends long after high school. So when I learned

  that the unthinkable had happened - divorce - I did not hesitate to pack my son off to his grandparents'

  house to that I could pay her a visit.

• She sat hunched between cushion and armrest, elbows pinning a paperback open on the knees of her

  crossed legs, head cocked to one side as she furtively braided a small strand of hair. Slowly, an army of

  braids was marching outward from her right temple ...

• The man was blind. Beneath the sun, amidst the swarming, milling mass of human flesh he walked a

  well tread path. His mind was fixed on sounds and smells. He tried not to transgress a narrow boundary set

  on previous trips by traffic, crowds and looming fortresses of brick and concrete. The metropolis embraced

  him coldly with the harsh caress life had inured him to. The thick, warm air washed over him as he

  approached the door to his apartment building, up the stairs. He climbed. He lived alone on the fourth

  floor. Within his lair the man moved easily, calmed by spatial predictability. (this one's a Sheakespearean

  sonnet, if you didn't notice)

• At 26 and married, she was too old to participate in the drug and sex festival that culminated at

  the conculsion of the preceding decade. She was merely able to look on, veiling her curiosity behind a

  façade of disgust. Then came the real revolution, Judy felt, although as a mother and housewife, she stayed

  in the ranks of those who pretended oblivion. Isolated by the liberation movement, she was scorned as a

  traitor to the cause of sex equality. Feeling disappointed and betrayed, she imersed herself in her duties

  as a homemaker. The vernacularism "housewife" seemed appropriate: increasingly it was towards her house

  rather than her husband that Judy directed her passions.

• It's cruel, I know, but I can't help laughing at the caged Tibetan priests who keep replacing our

  llamas.

• That peanut was the best thing that every happened to me.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:08 AM | Comments (0)

  December 15, 2000

  Fridays it's just hard to

  Fridays it's just hard to get anything done . . .
  This morning I learned that I'm des ...
  --- damn. lost my connection temporarily, and now I've also lost my train of thought ---
  Oh well. Back to "work."

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

  December 14, 2000

  writing & Ms X

  Ms X thinks I make her sound like a bitch in my weblog. Let me assure you that if you think Ms X is a bitch

  you have been viley misled. In fact, she's one of those forces in the universe that keeps me sane, despite

  any efforts that she and Morgan put forth at making me neurotic. I don't think I've been more than four

  days without seeing her since August. And when I'm deprived of Ms X for too long, I go crazy and create

  things like this. Okay, now I sound freaky and obsessed. Sure, that's it. Freaky and obsessed. Bwah hah hah

  hah hah.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:32 PM | Comments (0)

  writing & Ms X

  Ms X and I initially set forth to write "Tattood in Cleveland" together. But then she said the bit I'd put

  down was too crappy. Then I was sad. Now, though, I've gotten the wherewithal together to start fresh. I'm

  not sure if it's going to keep it's title, but the premise is the same. So there, Ms X.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 06:46 PM | Comments (0)

  December 13, 2000

  Gore conceeded. I've been anticipating

  Gore conceeded. I've been anticipating this. I don't really think he's tremendously different from Bush on

  a global scale. Still, it was a beautiful speech. I am very sad.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:14 PM | Comments (0)

  December 12, 2000

  universe, in brief -- yummy introverts - yawn

  Two things
  1. Tee hee. I just saw my boss's belly.
  
  2. My brain hurts. A lot.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:53 PM | Comments (0)

  I've finally written an article

  I've finally written an article I kind of like. It's a profile. Like most profiles that run in newspapers,

  and all profiles that run in small suburban weekly newspapers, it's fawningly upbeat about its subject. But

  this time I think she deserves it. Of course, I still haven't mastered the art of concluding. It just

  tapers off at the end. But whatever. I'll post a link as soon as they put it online. Keep an eye out for it

  at TimesCommunity.com.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:39 PM | Comments (0)

  Am I mistaken in finding

  Am I mistaken in finding this article a bit misplaced? Since when is a space mission part of national news.

  The Post does have an World in Brief column as well. Really what we need here, though, is a Solar System in

  Brief, I guess.
  
  
  
  I'm adding this to my list of things I seek in a boy:
  
  7. Introverted. This does not mean unable to be loud or talk in a crowd. But it precludes exhibitionism in

  public places.
  
  
  
  I think "up too late" is my new rallying cry. That or "yawn."

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:38 AM | Comments (0)

  December 11, 2000

  ohmigawwwd.Lana.

  ohmigawwwd.Lana.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:32 AM | Comments (0)

  Laura told me today that

  Laura told me today that she hates webjournals and no longer wants for me to mention her in mine. So from

  now on, she will be referred to as "Ms. X."
  
  After much discussion this evening, Ms. X has inspired me to write the following list.
  
  
  
  
  Things I seek in a boy:
  
  1. Smart, but not arrogant.
  
  2. Really into something (like music, maybe) that I don't know heaps about, and interested in sharing

  it with me.
  
  3. Interested in learning things I might know about.
  
  4. A little bit insecure about some things, but basically aware that he's a good person and that his

  insecurities are maybe foolish. But still a little insecure sometimes.
  
  5. Not overwhelmed by my occasional insecurities either.
  
  6. Vaguely dorky. Not a complete dork, but a just-shy of cool dork.
  
  
  
  There's more, I'm sure. But now it's obscenely late and I have to go to bed. Good night.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 01:56 AM | Comments (0)

  December 10, 2000

  Yesterday: 1. Library volunteering was

  Yesterday:
  
  1. Library volunteering was awesome. This 62 year old Indian man I've been working with sent me this email:
  
  
  
  Dear,Sherwood
  
  I am happy to have my teacher in email &website.
  
  I wish you should go for higher studies at any
  
  coast. your quality of volteership should count
  
  in your future.you should run for the gold it is
  
  my advise. with reads jacob
  
  
  
  
  The most exciting thing about this email is that he seems to have mastered use of the shift key. Last week

  he had a really hard time capitolizing anything.
  Jacob also told me that if I ever travel to India, I can stay with his family and eat really good food for

  free.
  
  
  
  2. Chance's birthday, observed: Chance had a rockin' time playing laser tag with his friends, then got even

  more cool stuff from his family. Coolest gift: this keychain robot dog that barks and terrifies Suzy (the

  real dog of the household).
  
  
  
  3. Laura's date seems to have gone really well. Yay!
  
  
  
  4. My dad's flight back from Kosovo via Austria was cancelled, but with some wiley manuevering on his part

  he made it here only a few hours later. And we got to go to the airport twice in one day.
  
  
  
  5. The frenzied cleaning was not as intense as I'd feared.
  
  
  
  6. I tried to take a bath yesterday, but ran out of hot water before the tub was full. Oh the agony.
  
  
  
  7. I used Thai Crystal Deodorant and did not smell bad all day.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:45 PM | Comments (0)

  December 09, 2000

  Dec. 9 Sooo tired. A

  Dec. 9
  Sooo tired.
  
  A partial list of anticipated things for tomorrow:

• library volunteer time for me!
  
• Chance's birthday, observed (he's 10 now)
  
• gossip from Laura about her big date (or was it a date? I soon will know)
  
• my Dad returns from Kosovo
  
• frantic last minute house cleaning to prepare for my dad's return from Kosovo
  
• I will bathe at some point

  I went on a shopping frenzy yesterday. Well, if you can call a trip to the grocery store to purchase foods

  and toiletries a frenzy. On an impulse, I bought this thing called Thai Crystal Body Deodorant, which is a

  rock that, when rubbed in your armpits, is supposed to keep you from smelling. I'd heard of deodorant

  crystals before from this weird flakey girl I knew who used one. I'm not sure why it's Thai, though. I've

  been to Thailand, and I don't really remember any weird crystal thing. Anyhow, if I start smelling, please

  let me know and I'll switch back to Secret.
  
  Okay, enough of the Deodorant Files for now. G'night.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:44 AM | Comments (0)

  December 07, 2000

  Men

  Men who stand at doors, waiting, it would seem, until a woman approaches just so they can hold the door

  open her her: what is up with that?

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:04 PM | Comments (0)

  Preludes & Nocturnes

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 02:02 AM | Comments (0)

  December 06, 2000

  several thoughts

  1. My entire interaction with Morgan, who lives in the same house as me, over the past 24 hours:
  
  (sound of door opening and closing)
  
  Me: Morgan, is that you?
  
  Morgan: Yeah ...
  
  Me: Oh. Hi. Goodnight.
  
  Morgan: Sure, goodnight.
  
  (I go into my room. A few moments pass.
  
  Then a funny noise is heard. I burst forth)
  
  Me: Morgan! Did you make that noise!
  
  Mom: No, I did. (Laughs)
  
  Morgan: (Laughs)
  
  Me: Oh. Goodnight.
  
  Mom: Goodnight.
  
  Morgan: Goodnight.
  
  
  
  
  2. This is Chance's 10th Birthday!! Yay Chance!
  
  
  
  3. I was just being a fool yesterday when I was feeling underworked. I am not underworked.
  
  
  
  That is all.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:57 PM | Comments (0)

  December 05, 2000

  tired.

  I think I'm underworked at my job. Or maybe I'm not taking the initiative to go out and do things enough.

  I'm spending way to much time volunteering to do things for other people, and surfing the web when they

  turn me down. Grrr. Maybe today is just a slow day, is all.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:22 PM | Comments (0)

  If you leave mac &

  If you leave mac & cheese unattended for long enough, it does not go bad. It goes evil.

  Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

  new look

  Yes, I know this page looks really crappy on some browsers. It should be really easy to fix, but I can't do

  it from work, so you'll just have to wait until this afternoon. Also, starting today, I'm adding new

  remarks to the top of the page, instead of to the bottom -- so it will be entirely reverse chronologic