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September 08, 2008
Empathy
Several people I love are suffering, and all I want to do is hug them or give them Bandaids, blow on their wounds and make the hurt go away. I don't know how to make hurt go away when the wound is not physical. I've lived through a few small sorrows, and I recognize pain's rhythms in my life. I think that recognition and familiarity can make tough times more bearable. Other people's hurt, though, I don't know the patterns. I just feel the sorrow of empathy.
My college roommate, Sara, who is also close to people who are hurting, recently shared this meditation:
"Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help me develop compassion and find ways out of suffering, I am determined not to avoid or close my eyes before suffering. I am committed to finding ways, including personal contact, images and sounds, to be with those who suffer, so I can understand their situation deeply and help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace and joy." -- Thich Nhat Hanh, 14 mindfulness trainings
I like the idea, but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to follow through. I don't know how to transform suffering into compassion, peace and joy. I experience suffering as sorrow and pain, even second hand.
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at September 8, 2008 11:21 PM
Comments
My feeling is that it is important just to be with or communicate with the suffering person, so that they feel accompanied, not so much that the suffering will be transformed into happiness or joy. Suffering is a part of life, and suffering people need their trials recognized, and their burden honored so to speak, and most of all not to feel shunned or avoided because they aren't more fun to be around. We can hope that wounds will be repaired, and should help where help is possible. But sometimes it isn't, and in those cases all we can do is to wait with them.
Posted by: Sue at September 9, 2008 08:38 AM
I like what you say. I suspect there is truth in it.
Posted by: Courtney at September 9, 2008 01:40 PM