« Wow, we have lives | Main | When does your disability expire? »

June 05, 2008

A little bit taboo and way too neurotic

At work we have four stalls.

The end stall against the wall has one of those tall toilets for handicapped people. (What kind of handicap necessitates the use of a tall toilet, anyways?) I don't like this stall because the toilet is uncomfortable. That stall is ruled out except in extreme emergencies.

That leaves two middle stalls and an end stall near the sinks.

Ever since moving into this building in January I've chosen the stall nearest the sinks whenever it has been available. It's an end stall, which means I won't be surrounded on both sides. Being surrounded makes me uncomfortable.

I've noticed something about my stall choice. When I go into the bathroom, the end stall near the sinks is the stall most likely to already be occupied. If a toilet is clogged, it's going to be this toilet. Toilet paper often runs out in this stall. In other words, my favorite stall is everybody's favorite stall.

The more I think about this, the less I want to use that stall. The germs don't bother me much, I'm not one of those people who uses the weird paper shields when she goes to pee. But I hate being assaulted by unpleasant odors when I enter the bathroom. There are a lot of people who eat too much meat and cheese at my office, if my nose does not deceive me. There are also a few women who go so overboard on perfume that I want to sneeze as I sit down in the cloud of over-sweet molecules that stay behind, trapped in the stall, when they leave. Worst is when the excessive perfume was sprayed to cover up the after-effects of too much cheese and meat. The end stall near the sinks, by virtue of its popularity, is the most likely site of a nasal assault in the entire building.

So lately I've been re-evaluating my stall choice. I've been observing the two middle stalls.

The middle stall nearest the tall toilet is also a fairly popular choice, I have observed. It's generally the place people head when the stall next to the sinks is in use, because this leaves an empty stall between the new arrival and her predecessor, but still allows the new arrival to use a normal toilet. When a third person arrives, she inevitably heads to the tall toilet, to avoid being surrounded on both sides.

The other middle stall, the middle stall nearest the sinks, is practically shunned. On either side are the two most popular stalls, so entering this one multiplies the odds that you'll be next to someone else. It's the place where a woman is most likely to find herself surrounded, which nobody wants. The other day I went in to the bathroom at noon, and this stall's toilet seat was still up from the cleaning the night before. Five hours after the first early birds arrived at work, this stall was still pristine.

It's risky, but this week I finally decided to change my stall allegiance. The odorous risks associated with the stall nearest the sink outweigh the advantages of privacy and toilet size. I'm now going one stall over, to the middle stall closer to the sinks. I haven't been surrounded yet, although I imagine it's only a matter of time. Until then, I will rejoice in the abundance of toilet paper, the lack of wet spots on the seat, the absence of lingering stink bombs, the fact that I am the first person to lower the toilet seat most days.

It will take many repeat visits to fully evaluate my choice, but so far I think I made the right decision.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at June 5, 2008 09:08 PM

Comments

Posted by: Sue at June 6, 2008 08:04 AM

Posted by: Courtney at June 6, 2008 09:04 AM