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May 20, 2008
Homeowners Association Party: A play
(Homeowners sit on Association President's comfy chairs and couches, sipping margaritas and eating chicken and salad, conversing quietly to fill the stage with a low murmur. Enter New Neighbor, a single 50s-ish South Korean immigrant who now runs two Portland bars, and Longtime Neighbor a low-income retired 60-something Japanese immigrant whose two adult sons provide financial support.)
New Neighbor: We're both Asian! We should be friends!
Longtime Neighbor: OK, that's a good idea.
New Neighbor: But we have different accents! We'll never understand each other. Maybe not. I need to smoke.
(New Neighbor exits, stage left, for a cigarette. Friendly Alcoholic, a 60-something retired divorce attorney, staggers onto the stage, sloshing his fifth margarita.)
Friendly Alcoholic (addressing the audience): I love living here! This is such a great place to live! The only thing I don't like about living here is the complainers. There are a lot of complainers, if you haven't noticed. And that's not a complaint, that's an opinion!
(Friendly Alcoholic waves crookedly, grins, staggers off stage. New Neighbor returns to greet Landlord, a successful black suburbanite woman who rents to a young broke couple, and Short Timer, a recently retired black professional woman who just sold her place.)
New Neighbor: You two must be friends for a long time, no?
Short Timer: Uh, I guess so. Why?
New Neighbor: Because you're both black, you must be friends, right?!
Short Timer: (Offended snort.)
Landlord: (Amused chuckle.)
(Enter Association President, a 40-something single white woman with a great sense of style.)
Association President: Who needs another drink!
Friendly Alcoholic: Me!
Association President: Great! (Tops off the margarita.) Anybody else? Anyone want some chicken or salad? OK, let's talk about mold remediation then ...
(Association President digs into a folder, starts handing out letters. Curtain lowers on the scene.)
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at May 20, 2008 07:54 PM
Comments
Are you the youngest person involved?
Posted by: Rian at May 20, 2008 09:46 PM
By many years, yes.
Posted by: Courtney at May 20, 2008 11:10 PM
Man, I need to join one of these. Um, there's not a membership requirement or anything, right?
Posted by: Michael at June 10, 2008 01:10 PM
Har, har, har.
Posted by: Courtney at June 10, 2008 03:01 PM