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March 31, 2008

Monday

Today, for the first time in weeks, I had enough energy to do take care of real life stuff. I've been plugging away with work and running so hard that I haven't kept up with bills and cooking and so on. Today I did dishes, cleaned the cat box, picked up my dry cleaning, wrote a lot of checks, cooked vegetable risotto and corn bread muffins, packed tomorrow's lunch, and did a bunch of lingering niggling things that I'd been neglecting. And I still had time for a slow three mile run and a beer with Ben in front of the HBO. Well, half a beer. I spilled the other half.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)

March 30, 2008

Scaling back

I started last week with a to do list that was 10 miles long. By the end of the week, I'd traveled about eight miles down the path, and that was just fine.

I wrote five articles instead of seven, but they were solid, well-reported, well-written stories. I updated the work blog every day. I put out a decent e-mail newsletter on Friday, though I enlisted more help from my colleagues than I usually do. The business journalism workshop I helped pull together was a huge success. The multimedia-focused regional SPJ conference drew near 100 people, though my contributions to that event were not as great as I'd have liked.

It was worth it, despite the 12- to 14-hour days, the crappy food I ate when I had no time to cook, and the surprise hives, which I now suspect arose from stress. I'm glad I set lofty goals, but I'm also glad I was able to scale back a bit mid week when I realized that some of the goals were unrealistic.

I'm starting to think another goal I set for myself this year was also unrealistic. The marathon. I don't like running more than about 7 miles in one go. When I try, my feet hurt for days, my knees hurt for days, I have to take the elevator instead of the stairs because of the pain I'm in. Long runs bore me. I'd rather be hiking or skiing or riding my bike or reading a book or swimming or doing just about anything else.

So I think I'm gonna scale back. I don't have to run a marathon. I'm not even going to try anymore. I can keep running three or four times a week. I can work on getting faster instead of building distance. And then, with all the freed up time I have on weekends, I can enjoy my life a little bit more.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 04:38 PM | Comments (4)

March 28, 2008

my life

INTENSE DAY. INTENSE WEEK. INTENSE WEEKEND AHEAD. I FEEL GREAT!

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:21 PM | Comments (0)

March 27, 2008

I survived the night

I was really stressing out last night! My neck is still a little flushed and bumpy, but from any distance it looks like it's mostly back to normal. I think I just need to chill out and go to work.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 07:25 AM | Comments (2)

March 26, 2008

Am I too rash?

If I have one special ability that sets me apart from most of the people I know, it's my ability to develop embarrassing rashes at inappropriate moments. Usually they're on my face, because I didn't notice the coconut oil in some cosmetic product or I forget to remind the dentist that I'm allergic to her drugs. But today's rash is on my neck, and it's different than most because it has no known origin.

I started itching in the shower at the gym, after I worked out. There was a musty smell in the air and then I itched and then I scratched my neck vigorously. I often itch after working out, as the sweat starts drying on my body. So maybe it was just the scratching that made this happen. Or maybe it was a reaction to whatever caused the musty odor. Or maybe the gym's free soap - which has never bothered me before - has a new and different formula.

Whatever it is, from the bottom of my chin to the top of my collar bone I am now bumpy and red.

As I looked nervously at my neck in the mirror, I remembered something else that's new and different in my life: ADD meds. So I googled "dexedrine" and "rash" and found a page from my own pharmacy that says "if you develop a rash or hives, tell your doctor immediately." Awesome. It's 9:40 p.m., my "doctor" is a phd psychologist with prescribing authority who only works two days a week, and what does "immediately" really mean here? So I called the pharmacist. She calmed me down. The rash formed more than 8 hours after I took my last pill, and dexedrine usually clears the system within 5 hours. It's probably nothing. Take a Benadryl and stop worrying.

So I took a Benadryl, and then I read the dexedrine info page more carefully. I should monitor my condition especially carefully if I take antihistamines, such as diphenhydramine, it says. The active ingredient in Benadryl? You guessed it.

At this point I filled Ben in, and made him promise to take me to the emergency room if I appeared to be dying or anything. Which I think alarmed him unduly. I'm fine, really. It's just that my neck is red. It's probably nothing.

Or if not nothing, maybe it's stress. Between all my obligations, I've been working 12 or 14 hour days, and yet I still feel behind. I am behind. I'm being efficient, I'm staying on task, there's just too much to do. I'm stressed. I'm having a hard time sleeping, because my dreams are all about work and conferences and cleaning the car and impressing the bigwigs and putting together the program that I still haven't designed. Everything starts coming to a head on Friday, and keeps coming to a head through the weekend, and I'm terrified I'll screw it up. So stress hives seem perfectly reasonable.

Given all the stress, the hives, and another long day away from home, I could really use a drink right now. But the Benadryl box says not to mix with alcohol, so I guess that's out of the question.

Maybe I should give up and just go to bed. Most of my problems won't be gone in the morning, but maybe this rash will be. If not, then at least I have turtlenecks.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:59 PM | Comments (2)

March 25, 2008

Late night coffee and wifi in Portland.

I had some writing to do after work today, and I knew I'd be too distracted at home so I headed to a local coffee shop, ordered an americano, and opened up the laptop. Unfortunately, their Internet access was down. So I packed my stuff up and crossed the street to another local coffee shop, ordered an americano, opened up the laptop, and plugged away for two hours. If the Internet had been down there, I'd have had another four or five late-night free wifi coffee shops to choose from, all in easy walking distance of one another. This is part of what it is to be in Portland.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:10 PM | Comments (0)

March 24, 2008

My life is too hectic

I am mostly really happy all the time, but I'm also kind of overwhelmingly overwhelmed with everything right now. Too many stories due at work! Too many hours running for my training program! Too many parties, trips and social events! Of course, I love writing stories, running, going to parties, and so on. But I also love sleeping and doing nothing, and I'm not getting my fair share of that.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:01 PM | Comments (0)

March 23, 2008

Some photos

At the coast, taken by Dan: Kat (in my red coat), Ben, Mike, me.

Amy in Phoenix:

David and Jessica saying their vows:

Me and Ben dancing:

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:20 PM | Comments (1)

March 22, 2008

Piano Man

Ben bought himself an electric piano today. In the six-plus years I have known him, I don't think I've ever heard Ben play piano. But within a few minutes of assembling it this afternoon, he was figuring out how to play Claude Bolling pieces by ear. I have a musically talented husband, in case you don't know.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)

March 21, 2008

Glamour to pajamas

"Michael Jackson is a pop star from the future," Jordan, in the guise of a detective, told the assembled crowd tonight as we tried to puzzle out the mystery of who killed Vincent. I don't remember why we were talking about Michael Jackson. I wore a flowing green dress, long gloves, round toed shoes, dangling beads and silk flowered hat on my bobbed hair. I felt the part and I felt in the moment. The moment was the past. My name was Esmerelda De Young. I was a star. I had a blast.

I've always wanted to play a murder mystery game. Tonight I had my chance. Dan turned a little bit older, and he invited a dozen or so of us to dress up and get in character to celebrate his advancing age. We were each assigned characters, given missions (don't get blamed for the murder, get Charlie Chaplin's autograph, win recognition for your strengths, etc.), and unleashed upon one another.

Somehow, through confused instinct, I even named the right killer. Before that, though, I laughed and twirled my beads, ripped my name tag, sipped my wine, and clamored after Soy Dream dessert. It's like ice cream that doesn't hurt, for those of us who don't handle dairy well.

Now I'm home unwinding. Ben's already in bed. I'm wearing my blue flannel pajama pants, the ones with the puffy white clouds. The green T-shirt that I love enough to wear every day, but instead wear every night, is mouldering on my back. I haven't washed it for a while. My teeth are brushed and flossed, my face is scrubbed, my vitamins downed, my e-mail checked, and soon this site will be updated and I'll be off to bed.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:59 AM | Comments (3)

March 20, 2008

Water!

Yesterday, I stumbled into a water war. On one street corner, young people were blaring rap and handing out SoBe Life Water. On the opposite corner, young people were acting athletic and handing out Glaceau vitaminwater. I tried both of these so-called waters, and I have to say that they violate the basic requirement of truth in advertising. This is Kool-Aid.

The biggest ingredient, after H20, in vitaminwater is crystalline fructose. In other words: sugar. The only vitamin present in significant quantities is C - 100% - and that's not really something I'm missing in my diet. This 12 ounce bottle contains 75 calories. It also claims to contain something called "lutein," which I've never heard of. There are no electrolytes or other useful added ingredients that might help me out at the gym, for example.

Life Water, which claims to be a "vitamin enhanced water beverage" that will "enlighten your life" allegedly contains yerba mate, but it tastes nothing like the dank South American caffeinated tea. It tastes like blackberry and grape. After water, sugar is next on the ingredients list. Each bottle of Life Water has twice as much vitamin C as you need in a day, and 40 percent of your E needs as well. Otherwise, not a lot. It claims to have 40 calories per serving, but a 16 ounce bottle contains two servings. Again no electrolytes, though there is "L-theanine," whatever that is.

In other words, I was handed two candy-flavored sugar drinks which made bogus health claims and delivered unwanted vitamins and unneeded calories. And these beverages dare to call themselves water.

Coffee is mostly water too, right? Let's call it coffee water. I also like tea water, juice water, Kool-Aid water, Coke water. Oooh, I even like plain diet water, no calories added, no vitamins, no sugar, no flavors. It's really delicious when cold.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:17 PM | Comments (1)

March 19, 2008

Clarity

I remember the first time I saw see the street signs around me. "It says stop! It says yield! It says Bennington Woods Road!" I yelled from the back of the car as we drove home from the optomotrist. I was nine years old, and after that day I never stopped reading and shouting and looking at the world around me. There was so much to see. Until I put those glass lenses in front of my eyes, I hadn't known that the world could be so crisp, so in focus.

I don't know if I believe in attention deficit disorder. There's something suspicious to me about slapping a negative label on a condition that seems to arise out of modern life. I live in front of the television, the Nintendo, the Internet. Of course I'm distracted. But when I take these pills in the morning, I feel like I did that day when I was nine years old and I saw the world for the first time.

I take a pill, and suddenly I'm not surrounded by swirling chaos. I see the mounds of paper I've created, and I can understand how to sort and tackle them. I sit down to work, and all my responsibilities line up for a mental examination. The world comes in to focus for about five hours, and then my body breaks down the pills and they wash away and the familiar haze returns. I'm startled to realize just how blurry my life has been for all these years

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 08:53 PM | Comments (4)

March 18, 2008

It's a good thing I have Ben.

If I lived alone, every moment of decadent eating would be defined by fat, salt and starch. Grilled cheese sandwiches, popcorn slathered in butter, pasta drenched in butter and salt - all would feature prominently. Because there is Ben, however, I am exposed to a whole different world of sinful snacking. Pound cake! Cookies! Mochas! There are so many yummy sweet things in the world, and I need to be reminded to devour them from time to time.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:11 PM | Comments (0)

The founding fathers and their editors

In one scene of HBO's new biographical miniseries about the life of John Adams, Abigail reads through John's final summation for a case he is arguing, and tells him to cut down on the wordiness. In another scene, Ben Franklin reads the first draft of the Declaration of Independence and gives Thomas Jefferson a few small suggested word changes.

Exciting scenes about the value of a good editor -- this is my kind of historical television!

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 06:56 AM | Comments (0)

March 16, 2008

Not running a journalism convention, or anything

"I just wanted to be sure you'd be around, and not running some journalism convention or something," Laura said to me, when she confirmed the dates surrounding her May visit to Portland. Ha ha, like I run journalism conventions all the time. Silly Laura.

Only, it kind of seems like I do help out with journalism events all the time, all of a sudden. I have a week and a half to finish a mailing, arrange catering and put together programs for some crazy journo events. And who knows what else. You should come! This event is free, and includes coffee in the morning and lunch a little after noon, but registration is nearly full. This is $60, and is chock-full of opportunity. Plus more food. Boo-ya!

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:09 PM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2008

Too much activity, not enough sleep

I think we needed this crazy day, and not just to poke anemones, watch starfish, get wet and cold and muddy, listen to whispering mussels, and eat spicy Thai food with a gang of locals and out-of-towners at the coast. Ben and I needed today to remind us of the importance of sleep. We returned home, dirty, exhausted and sore, maybe 12 hours after we left. We're going to bed early. I intend to sleep very, very late. I assume Ben will do the same.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 10:35 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2008

Crazy two weeks ahead

In the next two weeks, I have four or five big or semi-big projects due at work. I have to arrange catering for a day-long training program my newspaper is hosting. I have to arranging printing and mailing of postcards reminding people to register for a conference SPJ is putting on. I also have to print programs and help run that conference. I'm really trying hard to improve my focus and perseverance. These next two weeks will really be a test.

I hate event planning! Ugh! Pulling together a wedding was hard enough. I kind of want it to end. I guess I'm getting better at it. After three or six more years of this, I may be bruised and battered enough by experience to actually know what I'm doing.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:12 PM | Comments (0)

March 13, 2008

Three cheers for the five-year plan

I love that I have friends who prefer big cities, suburbs and small towns. Sentimental and logical and both at once. Over-educated and under. But they're all deeply human and real, kind and compassionate and admirable.

Today I talked to Dr. J. I think she's known exactly what she would be doing for at least the next five or more years for as long as I've known her.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:26 PM | Comments (0)

March 12, 2008

Busy day

Today was way too full to transcribe it all. I wrote an article, put out an e-mail newsletter and updated a blog at work, ran three miles and lifted weights at the gym, contributed to conference planning at the SPJ board meeting, communicated with neighbors in my capacity as homeowners' association secretary, talked to Laura until my cell phone battery died, played Zelda for a few hours, and was diagnosed with ADD by a mental health professional. Apparently procrastination, difficulty with deadlines, disorganization, inattentiveness, and word swapping ("museum" when I mean "casino") are all common traits of ADD. Women and high-achieving people tend to be under diagnosed. Not sure I believe in it, but it's a relief at the same time to have a label that will give me tools to address a set of traits with which I struggle.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:14 PM | Comments (5)

March 11, 2008

I beat the first level of Zelda!

Since we got the Wii a month or so ago, I've mostly been content to cheer for Ben as he plays, or show off the cool machine to various visitors. But all of a sudden I've been transformed into a Zelda maniac. As in, I've had Zelda dreams, Zelda thoughts, Zelda conversations. Today I finally had some time to play after a couple of days off, and I beat the first level. A depressing feature of our video game system is that it tells you how many hours you've devoted to playing. It took me 11 hours of game play to win one level of Zelda. What else could I have done with that time? Alas.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:15 PM | Comments (2)

March 10, 2008

Bring back the daylight

I am not happy about how dark it is this morning. I am not happy that after months of watching my mood lighten with every ever-brighter a.m., it is now dark again. I am not happy that I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight last night, because midnight came an hour early. It doesn't make sense!

In other news, shouldn't "amn't" be a word? I want to contract this sentence: "Why am I not happy?" Correct: "Why aren't I happy?" Should be correct: "Why amn't I happy?" It doesn't make sense!

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 06:53 AM | Comments (2)

March 09, 2008

Life

This week, people that I care about are grappling with bankruptcy, rebounding from job losses, seeking to overcome mental limitations, caring for unwell loved ones, grieving lost pets, muttering over homework, groaning through physical pain, and trying to do the right thing even when they have nothing to gain from doing it. It's sunny and warm outside. Even if it gets a little bit worse in the short run I promise that things will get better, all of you. They will. They will.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

March 07, 2008

I've been working out

I was excited this evening to discover that I have muscle definition in my arms.

I'll be doing my first pull up in no time, I'm sure of it.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 11:27 PM | Comments (0)

Free jazz featuring Ben!

Ben's big band, Portland Woodshed Jazz Orchestra, performs Monday night at 8:30 p.m. at Jimmy Mak's in downtown Portland. They're opening for their jazz director's group, the Bryant Allard Quartet. If you're in town, you should go!

Here's an article from today's paper about the director, with brief mention of the show.

I've got a table reserved for me and Ben's parents. Anyone else who wants to go should consider reserving seats, too, as the Woodshed band is pretty big and there may be quite a few family members jockeying for seats. It's a free show, but there's an implied obligation to drop at least $5 on food or drinks.

What: Portland Woodshed Jazz Orchestra, featuring my husband, opens for Bryant Allard Quartet.
When: 8:30 p.m. Monday, March 10.
Where: Jimmy Mak's, 221 N.W. 10th Ave.; 503-295-6542.
Cost: No cover, but you'd better eat something.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2008

The grass is always greener...

Phoenix is too hot and too dry, and Portland is too cold and too wet. I wonder what kind of climate I want from this planet?

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 09:02 PM | Comments (2)

March 05, 2008

I'm learning

Ben has a habit of falling asleep in front of the TV. I have a habit of worrying whenever this happens.

"Wake up!" I say. "You're missing important TV."

"It's OK," he says. "I'm getting important sleep in its place."

Today I was good. I let him sleep. Instead of worrying and waking him up, I stealthily took a photograph and posted it on the Internet. Enjoy.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 08:43 PM | Comments (5)

March 04, 2008

Back in Portland

David and Jessica had a lovely wedding, very Arizona. They were married in a Spanish-inspired pavilion, then celebrated with Mexican food and drinks at the reception. Phoenix in March is bright and mild, lots of orange and brown and yellow but cool enough air that you can breathe when you go outside. Still, I'm glad to be home to the gray green damp of Portland. Everything about me was thirsty for home, and now I'm drinking it in through my pores.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 05:56 PM | Comments (0)

March 03, 2008

Wedding chronicles

Ben's all dressed up in a tuxedo with periwinkle vest and tie, and I'm getting ready to head up to the roof of our B&B for an hour before pulling myself together and showing up at the wedding. The difference between the best man and his wife.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:46 PM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2008

In Phoenix

Here's where we're staying. So far it seems nicer in real life than it looks on the internet. Ben and I just checked in. Time to shower, iron a few things, and then catch up with the wedding gang.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 03:11 PM | Comments (0)

Definitely maritally integrated

Ben and I have just finished packing for our three-day two-night trip to Phoenix, where we'll be attending David and Jessica's wedding. As proof that we are definitely maritally integrated, for the first time ever in our many years of travel Ben and I have pretty thoroughly mixed and matched our clothes in our various carry on bags. I'm carrying the garment bag, which means my fancy dress clothes and Ben's fancy dress shirt, as well as all our toiletries. He's carrying the suitcase, which contains his every day clothes and my every day clothes. They're mixed! They're matched! No boundaries exist whatsoever. Holy cow.

Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at 12:21 AM | Comments (1)