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February 20, 2008
Astrology and evil doing
If I believed in astrology or the power of heavenly movements to influence my daily life, I would be really freaked out right now. First a massive meteor lit up the sky from Utah to Canada and fell apart somewhere above eastern Washington. Then the moon swelled full and hid behind all of our shadows. Tonight the government might blast down another satellite to protect its secrets. And did I tell you about my dream?
I woke up this morning convinced that I had done something really awful and that I had to cover it up. In the dream, I did this bad act unthinkingly, and then realized that I could have just ruined my life. I tried to destroy the evidence, but it was everywhere, inescapable, so I changed my approach, I pretended ignorance of the crime. "Look at this! Evidence of a crime! What do you think it could mean?" I asked, innocently. Ben's alarm clock goes off 10 minutes before mine, and while I lay with my head buried in the pillow waiting for the beeps I asked myself if I had ruined my life, my marriage, if my husband would love me any more. It wasn't until I was halfway to the shower that I realized that it wasn't real.
I told Ben about my dream and he told me that he still loves me. Weird how much relief that can bring, when the grief and angst I was suffering were over an ill-defined and imagined crime.
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at February 20, 2008 08:41 PM