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November 01, 2007
Migraine.
I had my second-ever migraine today. My head was hurting for most of the morning, and then around 11:30 a.m. the visual symptoms started kicking in. I tried to read a phone number off a piece of paper and I couldn't make it out. I could dial the phone by touch, but I couldn't read the digits. I decided to go home sick before it got too much worse.
About halfway home, I had to call Morgan and Robin for help. I was having a hard time seeing and I was feeling dizzy, and I didn't think I could finish the drive. They were really great, and ferried me home, and I spent about three hours lying in bed with my eyes shut.
I eventually started writing my nanowrimo novel, but I'm doing it on paper because staring at the screen for too long really makes my head and eyes hurt. My eyes feel bruised, my brain feels constrained by a tight mesh net. Thinking isn't hard, and neither is sitting here typing with my eyes closed, but looking at things and listening to things for too long brings back the badness.
I don't know if I'll call in sick tomorrow. I'll have to sleep on it and see if the veil has lifted.
This experience is really depressing and scary. Migraine seems to be one of those mysterious ailments that doesn't seem to be curable, just treatable, and only kind-of treatable, and not for everyone. Some people get them a lot, some people have a few over the course of a lifetime. Some people never have any. There is no way to know whether this will become a regular occurrence, whether it's because of my work environment, because I spend too much time staring at computer screens, because of stress, because I ate something, because of a hormonal change associated with aging, because of barometric pressure variations. I just don't know why this is happening to me.
I do know that my brain is just about my most valuable asset, and for reasons that are beyond my control and my understanding that brain seemed to shut down in blinding pain six and a half weeks ago, and again today. The blinding part is what's scariest. I think I could almost work through the pain if I could see straight. I am feeling depressed about the possibility that this could be a life sentence and that I'm totally powerless to do anything about it.
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at November 1, 2007 10:29 PM
Comments
Oh, poor Courtney. I think you should jump on this thing with both feet, which will make you feel better in itself. Take action and you will lose some of the helpless feeling. I do think there is fairly effective migraine medicine, and then there may be diet things you can do. The eye doctor I went to after my car crash in 2006 would be someone to see about the visual connection. Or if you are with Kaiser, ask them for a relevant specialist.
Posted by: Sue at November 2, 2007 10:58 AM
You have insurance right? Neurologists are the doctors of choice for this. Although these days regular doctors are more understanding of it... I think you're fortunate in that to this date you haven't had much in the way of reoccuring ailments. This is not a powerless situation! There are drugs that make that pain go away. They aren't addictive. I don't think you would need some everyday drug. But the stuff that works-works well. Don't suffer!
Posted by: Rian at November 2, 2007 02:26 PM
Thanks, Sue and Rian. I already have an eye exam scheduled for Wednesday, at my doctor's recommendation. If that doesn't solve anything, I think a neurologist is a good idea. I have health insurance that lets me go to any medical specialist that's in network for $40 per visit, which seems pretty decent.
Posted by: Courtney at November 2, 2007 04:16 PM