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May 13, 2007
Old age, gradual change
Someone I once knew was named to an annual "30 top journalists under 30" about six years ago. This year's list came out recently, with all the New York Times and Washington Post and Wall Street Journal hot shots on it, yet again, and my unaccomplished name absent, yet again. And I'm forced to reconcile with the fact that I'm never going to be an under-30 person to watch. By the time the list is next released, I won't be under 30 any more.
A few years ago I was involved in an effort to launch a young journalists association. Soon after I moved away from the city, at a time when I didn't have the stomach for the long drives to the group meetings, the organization collapsed. Now I'm back in an area with the population to sustain a young journos group again, but I'm not sure I'm young enough to qualify anymore. So I've renewed my Society for Professional Journalists and my Investigative Reporters and Editors memberships, and I'm going to make do with the groups that already exist.
I feel like I've fallen into a rut at work, though I'm not sure if anyone at work would agree. I'm covering the news that's expected of me, and more. I'm digging up stories. I'm keeping moderately busy. My writing is reasonably strong. I'm engaged and involved as much as I know how to be. I feel that an invisible, indescribable spark is missing from my work, however. I think it's been gone for a long time. I need to kick myself into action, to formulate a plan, to do great deeds and produce amazing work. I'm young enough to do something amazing still, I hope. This is the only life I get and I don't want to waste my fleeting days.
I wish a single barbaric yawp would do the trick, lift me out of my rut and get me on the road to earth-shattering story telling and rock-solid reporting. Instead I have to think my way to where I want to be, work harder, and will myself there.
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at May 13, 2007 08:30 PM
Comments
Very touching sentiments, to one who is a generation older. I can remember thinking that way. It means that you are ambitious and conscientious, and well-prepared. Consider that when you had your first journo jobs and did feel that original zest, those were the benefits of that lower rung on your ladder. Only now can you look back and understand how good that was. The rewards of your current rung will appear in retrospect too. As a member of your family, I know that the past two years have been enormously challenging to you, and I am grateful that you had work that you could do well while so distracted. Once your life settles down, the professional thinking you are doing now will find an outlet.
Posted by: Sue at May 14, 2007 01:02 PM
Thanks, Sue. It's been so long since my life was calm that I don't really know what to expect now that I'm facing stability again.
Posted by: Courtney at May 14, 2007 02:14 PM