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April 14, 2002
introspective
For the first time in a while I didn't spend most of the weekend with Ben. I missed him last night and today, but I also accomplished a lot that would have probably not gotten done otherwise. I did what repair I could to make my surviving web journal archives visible. I finished cleaning my room. I made some progress on my taxes. I read my brother's web journal (Darcy). I ate a lot of chocolate cake and filled the apartment with a hazy green smoke while I read for five hour strait beginning to end of "The Nanny Diaries." I watched the Iron Chef and the Osbournes. And in a little bit I'm going to walk down to Uncle John's and get a slice of delicious pizza on the way to a walk in the park.I've decided it is time for me to get in shape. It's now been a year since I have worked out on any regular basis, although I do tend to walk 2-3 miles a day. I've broken out my dinky 3-pound hand weights and I'm doing the floor excersises I learned in aerobics. And now that the weather is turning around I'm going to push myself to get out in nature and move around more. I love Portland in the summer time.I've been thinking about my family a lot today. Finding Darcy's web log was really neat. I'm not going to link to it because I think he wants it to remain somewhat private. But he just seems so well-adjusted, a complete, intelligent, sane, emotionally developed person. And much more self aware than I was in high school. It's strange how dysfunctional the Sherwoods all seem sometimes, how much we love each other, how much we share, and how much we hide. I think being 2,800 miles from my family isn't all that bad. They were 11,500 miles away for the better part of three years. And when I spend too much time with them I feel like I'm going insane -- so loud, so much drama, so many expectations and demands. Still, it would be nice to have an occasional Sunday dinner at home. I miss the home-cooked food, the hum of voices, the cheesey jokes, the knowing looks we shoot across the table at one another and the menagerie of pets and house guests that keep the evenings exotic and insane. And I miss the intercom and the rooms and the chewed up carpet and the mess and the maze of rooms and the comfort zone and the tape on the wall and the history and the memories that are everywhere. Oh well. It's now been more than 24 hours since I've seen another human so I'm going to quit my rambling and head out for a walk in the woods and a pizza slice en route. Sigh.
Posted by Courtney_Sherwood at April 14, 2002 06:23 PM